Skin Deep Part Seven

The rest of my shift was pretty boring, at least until Izzy got there. Sure Parker was there to talk to and what not, but work is work right? It was such a slow night that Parker and I had everything cleaned and ready for closing by 11:00. So the three of us just sat around and talked until the last movie let out and every body left. I let Parker go out the front before I locked up, then Izzy and I left out the back. Izzy pushed me up against the wall right as we got outside and kissed me. She pulled away breathless.

"Whoa, getting a little aggressive?" I say smiling.

She smiled back at me. "Are you kidding? I've been waiting to do that for hours."

"Well," I said while leaning into her. "Why did you stop then?" I kissed her again deeper, more urgent this time. The sound of footsteps stopped us and we pulled away. I turned to see Blake standing there. Great, I thought to myself. Just great.


He took a step towards us. "Ssso this who yer ssing now?" He asked sounding both drunk and angry.

"Yes Blake, she is. You got a problem with that?" I said, taking a step closer to him forcing myself not to back down. Even though my heart was beating so hard and fast that I thought I might die.

He stumbled a little, the look on his face turning from anger to a leer. "I juss didn't know you turned into a dyke. Its kinda hot though, can I watch, maybe join in?"

"Oh shut up!" Yelled Izzy from behind me. Wow, points for my girl.

That got him going again. "Don't you talk to me like that you little bitch!" He yelled as her strode right towards us. "Giddouta the way Aleeshia." He slurred.

"No." I said, standing my ground. He tried to push me aside, lucky for me he was too drunk and missed. I pushed him hard, putting almost all of my weight into it. It was forceful and he was drunk enough that he fell down. "Now Blake, we are leaving and you will not follow and I don't want to do this again. So leave me and Izzy ALONE!" I said making sure he got my point this time, then turned to Izzy grabbing her hand. "Come on lets go." I said and we left Blake on his ass in the parking lot.

We made it to my place both of us whole, unhurt and stupid ex boyfriend free. I found a note that my mom left out for me. It said that she would be out, possibly all night, that there was food in the kitchen and for me and my friend to have a good time. I turned to Izzy and she looked spooked. I walked over to her and put my arms around her. "Its gonna be okay Izzy, Blake is more talk than anything, trust me we are fine. He might even stop bugging me now that he knows we're doing whatever it is we're doing."

She pulled away from me. "But what if he tells someone at school? And what do you mean whatever it is we're doing? I thought you were okay with taking things slow."

I sighed a heavy sigh, I didn't want this conversation to go like this. "First off Izzy who cares if he tells someone? I bet most people wouldn't believe it any way and so what if they did? Its the truth isn't it?" I took a deep breath to calm myself before I kept going, I didn't want this to be a fight. "Izzy, I like you, you like me, whats the big deal? I mean why not just call it like it is. Like I know I want us to be together and I think you do too. There is no reason why we can't be together and take things slow, right?"

Izzy's face softened as she stepped closer to me. "Your right," she said, looking down and when she looked up she had tears in her eyes. "I guess I'm just scared. Scared of what other people will think or how they will treat us. Scared of what my mom will do and even a little scared by how much I feel for you." I closed the distance between us and put my arms around her. She put her arms around me and relaxed into my body for a moment, resting her head on my shoulder. Then she pulled back just far enough to look at me, our arms still around each other. "Aren't you sacred, even just a little?"

"Well yeah, but I know what I want and I don't want anything getting in the way. Yeah it can be scary but Izzy, your the first person that I've really ever been real with. I mean all the way, I'm never acting around you. I don't feel like I have to hide behind what every body expects of me when I'm around you. That's gotta mean something, so yeah I get scared but I don't want to screw this up." She kissed me hard like she would die if we weren't kissing. When she pulled away she was smiling at me.

"Ok." She said and I looked a question at her. "Lets do it, lets be girlfriends."

"Are you sure? I mean really sure, cause whether I like it or not I can wait." I said, feeling all mixed up. I didn't expect this to be so easy.

She paused before she spoke, still smiling at me. "Yes I'm sure, your right. I wanna be with you, I've just been scared. I've actually been thinking about it all day and my fear is the only thing that's stopping me. That shouldn't be enough, so yes I'm sure I want us to be together." I kissed her, I couldn't help myself.

The rest of the night we just hung out you know, talked, watched TV and of course we made out some more. As I fell asleep that night I was nothing but happy. Giddy even, I should have known it wouldn't last forever.

The next week went by with no evidence that Blake had blabbed to anyone. That didn't stop Izzy and I from being slightly edgy at school. We decided to keep the pda to a serious minimum, meaning none really at all. That is aside from quick hugs. It was fine, mostly. It only really bothered me when I would see other couples being all lovey dovey in the halls. But other than that I was cool. I was crazy happy. Being with Izzy was great even tho we had to be secretive. It helped that both Jesse and Piper knew about us. At least we could be open around them. I was finally starting to really be ok with our situation when Sunday rolled around. Izzy and I were hanging out at the park. We had been sitting close together talking, her hand resting on my thigh when we heard someone call her name. We automatically jumped apart and as her hand slid off my leg she looked behind us. I looked then too and saw one of her oldest friends, Ashley, walking toward us.

"Hey Izzy, Alicia" She said. Then she turned her attention fully to Izzy. "I've been trying to get a hold of you all day, whats up?"

"Oh," Izzy said while getting out her phone and looking at it. "Sorry I guess I forgot to turn it on. Why whats going on?"

They started talking and I just sort of tuned them out. I was a little bothered by what had just happened. Not that I didn't have a part in freaking as much as Izzy. But I didn't really like how fast we broke apart, like we didn't even have to think about it. I don't know maybe it just the uneasy feelings I've been having. What ever it is I don't like it. I don't really know whats bugging me so much. I mean just last weekend I was telling Izzy that being scared was a stupid reason not to be together. I meant it and I'm not having second thoughts so why the uneasiness? I vaguely heard Ashley say good bye before Izzy waved her hand in front of my face. I looked at her then.

"Whoa, where were you just then?"

"Nowhere, just thinking."

"About what?"

"Nothing, really." I lied.

"Like I'm gonna believe that." she said, giving me a look that clearly said, 'just tell me."

I sighed. "I don't know I've just been feeling kinda uneasy and The way we just broke apart so fast bothered me a little."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, it kinda bothered me too."

"Really?"

"Well yeah, I may not be ready for everyone to know about us, but that doesn't mean that hiding isn't gonna bother me."

"Yeah, its weird isn't it? I mean who woulda thought that you and me of all people would be weird about being out about being together."

"Yeah, maybe its cause we have both been through some rumor worthy stuff this year. For me thinking about the possibility that people other than Parker and Jesse might know something kinda sucks." She said thoughtfully. "No that's not it, its thinking that other people at school might get some skewed idea about us from someone like Blake. That's what I'm afraid of."

I thought about that for a second before speaking. "Yeah, I know what you mean cause I felt the same way, but Blake has known for a week and he hasn't said anything. I know Blake, he is not the type to sit on things. Chances are that he doesn't remember, or if he does, he thinks it was a dream or something. He was wasted so..."

"Yes, I guess your right. So now I guess we just need to figure out what our terms are and when we're ready for people to know."

Izzy agreed and we spent some time talking about it. We decided that we weren't gonna deny that we were together if anyone asked us right out. We also promised each other that even if it got bad we would talk, really talk before just calling things off cause we got scared. Lastly we decided that we weren't gonna try to hide our relationship, but we also weren't gonna be super public about it yet. As far as pda we would expand a little, like no kissing in the halls, but that typical girl things like holding hands or linking arms now and then would be ok. At least until we were 100 percent about everything and had some better ideas about how to deal with people's questions. We talked for so long that it started getting late enough that we should go home.Neither of us really wanted to go, but we kinda had to so I walked her home. We were feeling so good about us that we even risked a quick kiss before Izzy went inside.

It felt good to have talked about stuff, I was no longer waiting for things to get messed up. I got home and my mom was actually there. We ate dinner and talked for a while, it was nice. Then Izzy called just before I was about to go to bed. That was really nice. We talked for a while then took way too long getting off the phone. I went to sleep that night thinking of her and how awesome everything was going. I only had the slightest worry about school the next day. But any not so happy thought got pushed away by the dreams I had of Izzy all night.


The next morning I woke up feeling the slightest bit of apprehension but overall ready to face the day. As I suspected there was still no sign that Blake told anyone about Izzy and me. The only people who talked to either of us about us were Paige and Jesse. So all was well. The next week went by pretty quick. I found that it was kinda fun passing notes and sneaking kisses here and there. As time continued to pass all seemed well. We hung out with Parker and Jesse and his boyfriend a lot and spent as much time alone as we could. It wasn't until about the middle of the fourth week that our somewhat clandestine status started to bug me again. It was hard not to touch her when ever I wanted. It got really bad when suddenly it seemed that every straight couple in the school was kissing and holding hands and even making out ALL THE TIME! Now I know this probably isn't what was really happening, but it sure seemed like it. My hyper awareness of hetero pda at school made me mad. I started feeling like I wanted people to know about Izzy and me. Not only so I could kiss her in the hall if I wanted to, but because the fact that I couldn't just wasn't fair. Also, I was finally with a truly awesome person and I couldn't be open about it. Only five people know about us, two being us, two more being Jesse and Parker and the fifth one I'm not even sure he knows that he knows! My feelings about this seemed to follow me around like big nasty storm clouds. I knew I was being moody but just couldn't stop myself from feeling like shit. I was thinking about all this Friday while having lunch outside with Izzy.

"Hello! Alicia!" Izzy said, sounding frustrated and waving a hand in my face.

I snapped out of my trance to see my girlfriends pissed off face. "Huh? Oh, Izzy I'm sorry I was just thinking."

"Obviously. What were you thinking about? You've been kinda weird the past couple of days."

"Yeah well, I'm just in a mood I guess." I said suddenly getting annoyed. We just sat there for a while until she realized that I wasn't about to say anything else.

Her expression softened a little to end in a mixture of frustration and worry. "Whats up? Are you mad at me or something?"

That chilled me out a bit. "Oh, no Izzy I'm not mad at you. Not really."

"Not really?" She said, the frustration taking over the worry. "Well which is it? Are you mad at me or not?"

Shit now I've done it. "Izzy," I said while reaching for her hand then realizing what I was about to do and pulling away. That made my anger rush in and I hit the table with my fist. "Damn it! Izzy, I'm not mad at you." I said, trying to keep my voice down but failing. I noticed that people were starting to look at us, so I took a deep breath trying to calm down so I wasn't yelling. I leaned in so we were closer to each other. "Its, just (sigh) I'm mad at the situation we're in. But I don't know if this is the best place to have this conversation."

Before she started to speak I noticed there were tears in he eyes. "Well where would be a good place?" She asked.

God I'm making her cry, I'm such an ass. I almost grabbed her hand again so I sat on my hands before answering her. "I don't know th-" I was interrupted by the bell. "You wanna ditch and finish talking or wait until after school?"

She wiped away a tear. "Are you kidding, lets ditch, I think I'd go crazy if I had to wait till the end of the day." We gathered up our stuff and got up.

"Park?" I asked.

"Sure."

We were silent the whole way there, the tension was almost unbearable. I was having a hell of a time staying even a little calm. I put my arm around her for a bit but she seemed like she didn't want me to touch her like that which just amped up my anger. When we got to the park we headed to our favorite bench. She sat down and I started pacing in front of her.

"Alicia!" She said in a loud voice. "Stop pacing, your making me even more nervous that I already am!"

I stopped. "Sorry" I mumbled.

"Alicia," she said her tone and face softening. "Please sit down and talk to me."

I sighed a deep sigh, then sat next to her turning so we were facing each other. "Izzy, I really like you..."

She cut me off, a look of worry on her face. "But..." She said.

I shook my head, then raised my voice practically yelling at her I said "but nothing Izzy, that's the thing." I don't know why I was so mad, it kinda felt good to be mad.

She looked a question at me. "If your not mad at me then stop yelling at me!" She said, raising her own voice. "Your not making sense. What did you mean earlier by your mad at the situation we're in?"

"What I meant is I think it sucks that we're hiding our relationship, that we feel like we have to." I realized that I was still nearly yelling and tried to lower my voice. "I know I agreed to not be obvious about us, and it was ok for awhile." There I said that using almost my normal voice, points for me. I sighed and went on finally able to sound more calm even though I was still a little mad. "I hate looking all around and seeing couples holding hands and kissing in the halls, I want us to feel okay doing those things." A look of relief crossed her face then she laughed a little, that caught me off guard. "Whats so funny?" I asked, almost offended. I was being serious.

"Its just Alicia, your mad cause you wanna hold hands. You. You've gotta admit that's kinda funny."

I laughed the tension finally starting to really leave me. "Yeah I see what you mean, but seriously Izzy I'm gonna freak if things don't change soon. I don't want to push you into something your not ready to do but I feel like I can't be around you at school cause I always wanna touch you. Like more than linking arms or hugs. Then when I realize that I can't I get all pissed. You are my girlfriend it feels shitty to feel wrong about touching you just cause someone might see."

She just looked at me for a moment before she spoke. "I know what you mean." She said, and I couldn't believe it. "But I would be lying if I said I was sure I was ready to be out about us. I'm scared, really scared but at the same time I'm mad that I'm scared and that I feel like we have to hide." She leaned in for a quick kiss before continuing. "I know what you mean about the not touching stuff, funny thing is I don't know if it would make much of a difference in some cases."

"What do you mean?"

"Ashley, she keeps asking me all these questions about you, I think she knows there is something going on with us. That doesn't mean that I'm ready to tell every one. But it couldn't hurt to maybe relax on the touching rule."

"Okay, so what does that mean, relaxing on the touching rule?" I asked hoping for, what I'm not sure but anything would be better at this point.

"Well, I'm not ready to make out in the halls but neutral touching that borders on more would be okay. Like hugs that linger, an arm around the shoulders, a hand on a leg, that sort of thing." She said, looking at me hopefully.

I guess I was hoping for more, but that would do for a start. "Okay, but I think if either of of us wants more we should talk about it right away. That way we won't end up fighting."

"Whoa, did we just have our first fight?"

"Yeah," I said, giving her a look and smiling. "So uh, you wanna ditch the rest of the day and go make up? My mom won't be home yet." I leaned into her and gave her a long hard kiss so she couldn't say no. When I pulled away she had to catch her breath, man I'm good.

"Okay." Was all she said and we headed off to my place.


We made it to my place and started kissing as soon as the door was closed behind us. I backed her up to the couch and we fell on it and each other. I felt and urgency about her that I had never noticed before. We seemed to have lost ourselves to any sense other than touch. There was nothing more important than each others bodies, we were all lips, teeth, tongues, arms and hands. Then I started to be aware of my other senses. I noticed the sound of our frantic breathing. Then moving down from her face and opening my eyes I watched the pulse in her neck and breathed in the smell of her skin and hair. We had been sitting kind of side by side, turned toward each other. I kissed and bit along her neck and collar bone before pulling back a little. I just looked at her like I was memorizing her face before pushing her down and climbing on top of her. She kissed me and pulled me close, pressing our bodies together like she was trying to push right through me. We stayed like that for some time before I pulled back just enough to move my mouth to just behind her ear. I trailed kisses down her neck to work my way across her collar to the other side of her neck. I pulled a hand free from underneath her and let it slide down her body to her waist. Then I found what I was looking for and slid my fingers just under her shirt. When she didn't stop me I moved so I could push her legs apart with mine so I was kneeling between hers. I pushed her shirt up, stopping just before her breasts and leaned down to explore her stomach with my mouth. She squirmed under me and started making small sounds in her throat. I moved to push her shirt up farther and I felt her body grow tense. I pulled back till I was sitting on my knees between her legs and just looked at her.

We were both breathing heavily, when she caught her breath she spoke. "Why did you stop?"

For some reason the question annoyed me, but I did my best not to Let it show. "I thought you wanted to stop, you froze up." I said, getting a little confused then started moving down toward her again. "Do you want me to stop?" I said, my voice dropping low.

"No," she said while pulling me into a kiss. I picked up right where we were and pushed her shirt up over her breasts. I let my hand slide across the front of her, causing her breath to catch in her throat. I pulled away from her kiss to lower my mouth to her chest, kissing down until I reached the edge of her bra. At the same time I reached back to undo the little hooks. As I started to push the fabric out of my way, she tensed up again.

I pulled away to look at her again. "Do you want me to stop now?" I asked.

"No, yes, I don't know." She said while pulling her shirt down and sitting up. "God I'm sorry, you must think I'm so dumb."

"No, Izzy I don't think your dumb. I am confused though, I mean it felt like you wanted-"

She cut me off. "I do, its just, I don't know if I'm ready just yet. I mean this is all new, ya know?"

"Yeah I know, but damn, you make it hard."

She blushed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, your just so, mmm." I said as I moved in to her for another kiss. Then I pulled away a little. Just looking at her I started to realize how far and fast I was falling. She smiled and looked a question at me. "How about we keep things how they are but hands can roam. Clothes will stay on, I promise."

Her smile deepened. "How about shirts can come off," that got a smile from me and I grabbed her hand. "But, bras stay, for now."

I climbed off the couch, still holding on to her. "Sounds good, lets go to my room." She smiled as she got up and gave me a look that made me wish we could do more. We made our way to my room and closed the door behind us.

The rest of the weekend went by way too slowly. I had to work both Saturday and Sunday during the day so I couldn't see Izzy as much as I would have liked. Parker worked with me both days which was nice, even though she kept on bugging me about Izzy and me. Izzy showed up at the theater on Sunday with Ashley. At first it was awkward until I realized that Ashley had guessed right about us. Even though I don't really know if I even like her it was nice that someone else knew. Especially knowing how close her and Izzy had been it made me feel good. That night Izzy and I got to together as usual. We ended up talking a lot about how school was gonna go with our new relaxed rules about touching. Well mostly Izzy talked about it. I finally got her to calm down and convinced her that it would all be okay. I walked her home and then headed home myself. As I fell asleep, I couldn't help but be excited about the coming weeks. I thought about what it would be like if anyone tried to start something because of us. I drifted off with a smile on my face.

Somewhat to my disappointment, it seemed like everyone at school was blind. The whole week went by with no incident. I did notice a few curious looks here and there but nothing more. Sadly Jesse got duped that Friday. So that weekend Izzy spent a lot of time with Jesse helping him deal with the break up. I hung out with them a little but mostly stayed away. I figured he wouldn't want to be around a couple, see I can be sensitive. I guess that because of all that was going on I let my guard down some the next week at school. I wasn't even thinking about people at school finding out about Izzy and I until I ran into a certain ex best friend of mine. I was walking down the hall after the last bell looking for Izzy, when I herd a familiar laugh behind me.

"What do you want Mary?" I asked as I turned to face her, not even trying to hide how annoyed I was.

"Nothing I just thought you might be looking for your girlfriend." She said with a smug look on her face.

"And?"

She laughed. "So its true," she said, sounding way too amused. "I must say I'm surprised, I didn't take you for a queer."

"And what makes you think I care?" I asked. "In case you forgot we aren't friends so I really don't care what you think." Just then Izzy walked up, great timing I thought with the hall full of people.

"Whats going on?" Izzy asked.

"Oh and here's the girlfriend now, come to save the day Izzy?" Mary spat.

I felt Izzy grow tense beside me, I was so freaked. Then she did one of the last things I could have ever expected. She just shot Mary a deadly look then grabbed my hand and turned us down the hall away from her. Izzy was squeezing my hand, she was so nervous. I was so focused on her that I didn't have any time to react before she was wrenched away by Mary pulling on her hair. I spun around just in time to grab her hand before she could do any more damage. She struggled against my grip then kicked me in the shins. I fought not to let go of her then as I did I slapped her hard with my other had.

"God what is your problem Mary?" I asked, my voice just below screaming. "You jealous?" I asked, smiling. "Funny I thought you were straight." I said, utterly pissed. "Now I suggest that you go before I stop being nice," I said with a smile. She just stood there staring at me with a stupid expression on her face. I turned to look for Izzy and saw that she had moved up to stand next to me. I put my hands on her face and asked, "Are you okay?" She nodded and I let one hand drop down to her hand and she grabbed on. I looked up to notice Amy running away and everyone in the hall staring at us. "What?" I asked, venom in my voice. Suddenly everyone just went about their usual business. Izzy and I turned to leave and were stopped by Jesse who had a big smile on his face but still managed to look concerned.

He looked at Izzy then me. "Are you okay?" He asked.

I nodded then we both looked at Izzy, she took her time to answer. "Yeah, I think so." She said, obviously stunned.

Jesse hugged her then turned to me. "Alicia, your my hero, that was awesome!"

I couldn't help but smile, then I felt Izzy squeeze my hand. "Thanks Jesse," I said. "I think we should go now though."

"Oh," he said, while looking over at Izzy. "Oh yeah, well I'll see you two tomorrow."

"Bye." We both said in unison as we headed for the door.

We left school and headed straight for the park with out talking about it. When we got there we went right to our bench and sat down. I turned to face her and tried to figure out what was going on for her just by looking. She looked really shocked and her breathing was heavy but beyond that I couldn't tell what she was thinking. I waited for a minuet to see if she would speak or even look at me. She didn't so finally I spoke up.

"So, uh how are you doing?" I asked letting the concern I was feeling show in my voice. "Are you okay?"

She turned toward me, a smile forming on her face. "Yeah, yeah I am," she said. "Actually I feel good, kind of exhilarated."

"Really? I mean even though we got outed in the hall in front of so many people?"

"Well I admit it didn't go quite how I would have wanted, but yeah. I think I was ready for it, I just didn't know how to go about it. It felt good just turning away from Mary like that. Though I wish I would have said something. I'm not so freaked anymore cause I know by tomorrow the whole school will know."

I looked at her for a moment feeling really surprised. "I don't want to ask again, but I've got to. Are you sure? Its just that the other day you were so worried."

"Yeah, but I realized that I was hating hiding just as much as you. So I guess I'll just have to toughen up a little if anyone gives us crap."

That made me smile. "That's my girl."

She blushed. "But you, Jesse was right that was awesome, not to mention lucky. I mean that no teachers saw." She said, then a look crossed her face. "God, are you okay? I mean Mary used to be your best friend."

"Yeah I'm okay, it kinda sucked but shes a bitch anyway. I don't really know why we stayed friends for as long as we did." She gave me a look that said, are you sure? "Besides, I have you and Jesse and Parker, emphasis on you." I smiled and kissed her, I had to. As I pulled away she smiled back at me.

"I think I love you," she said immediately looking nervous.

I smiled, that was the first time anyone said that to me when I really believed it. I even believed myself when I said back to her, "Me too, I mean you. I love you." Then I kissed her again, deeper this time not caring who might see, not that I ever really did. We had to go home soon after that to study some but ended up talking on the phone that night before going to bed. We rehashed the events of that afternoon again then talked about what it was gonna be like that next day. We both agreed it would be interesting to say the least.