Skin Deep

FYI: this is the beginning of a short story. I will add to it periodically.


I awoke to the familiar sounds of my mom and her drunk ass boyfriend fighting. I tried to shut them out, my pillow over my head, but that just didn't work. I rolled over to look at the clock to see I had a whole twenty minuets left to sleep. I heaved a sigh, turned off my alarm, then went about getting ready for school. I was so not looking forward to today. I felt like the fighting was a sign of things to come. See, I had decided to break up with my boyfriend today and I'm pretty sure he's not going to go easily. You may be wondering why I'm breaking up with him. Truth is, I have many reasons. I decided to evaluate my life and he doesn't fit into it anymore. His name is Blake Mendez and he is the resident bad boy of Smithston High. Gorgeous dark hair and skin from his Mexican father and bright green eyes, those he got from his white (more specifically Irish) mother. It was his devilish smirk that he passes off as a smile that reeled me in. I'll admit at first I liked being bad with him. I got a thrill from shoplifting and pushing people around, it felt powerful. I felt powerful. Then once the honeymoon was over I realized that I didn't much like who I was with or who I was becoming. I saw too much of my mom and her drunk asshole boyfriends in us. I don't want to end up like her. I love her of course but I don't want to put my hypothetical kids through what I've gone through with her. So that and I don't want to end up in jail. I started feeling bad for the people I've been pushing around. Just cause I have a crappy life doesn't really give me the right to make others lives miserable. Plus I just found out that he has been probably cheating on me with my "best" friend. So yeah I'm breaking up with Blake and I guess in a way Mary. That is if I don't chicken out.

Feeling kinda bummed and freaked out I threw on a black tank top, a pair of black skinny jeans and my boots, I ran a comb through my dark hair and pulled it into a ponytail. I stopped to check myself out in the full length mirror that Blake gave me. I kinda scared myself, my light caramel colored face looked pale, making the stud in my right nostril stand out. My dark brown eyes had a look of shock in them and I couldn't seem to get my full mouth to relax. Oh well, I thought as I grabbed my backpack and turned to leave. I left via the fire escape outside my window to avoid any collisions with my mom or her boyfriend. When I got to the bottom there he was, waiting for me in his car. "Hey," I said, a sense of foreboding grabbing me.

"Hey gorgeous," he said as he leaned over to open the passenger side door. I slid in the car and returned his kiss without feeling. I was silent the whole way to school, which was easy cause it was only a ten minuet ride and he talks a lot. As he pulled into a spot I noticed that his right hand had made its way to my thigh. Damn I thought to myself, then while taking a deep breath I picked his hand up and turned to face him.

"Blake, we need to break up." There I said it. He just sat there so I started to open the door. Then he grabbed my wrist.

"Wait Lici (Leesee) you don't mean that, lets talk."

"Blake, there's nothing for us to talk about. My life is changing, I'm changing and those changes don't include you." He tried to talk, but I put up a hand and kept talking. "I'm freaking vice president of the school now and I actually care about my grades now. I don't want to be on food stamps forever. I wanna make something of myself. Oh, and don't call me that, you've lost that privilege"

"What makes you think you will be able to A-li-ci-a?" He said, emphasizing each syllable of my name, his anger starting to show.

"See, that's what I mean, you hold me back. You want me to stay at your level, that's not what I want. I don't want to end up like my mom and Shawn." He laughed, a burst of anger and I think a tiny bit of guilt.

"My level?" He laughed, then heaved a big breath before continuing. "Anyways Eva and Shawn are great together and I don't hold you back."

"Yes your level," I said, my voice rising. Now I was getting mad. "Yeah they're great if you think that being drunk all the time and him beating the crap out of her is great. And dammit, you do hold me back." At that I shoved open the door and stormed off. Unfortunately he caught up with me rather quickly. He grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. That was it. "Don't touch me!" I yelled, "you've lost that privilege too."

"Oh come on Li- Alicia. Can't we talk about this?" In my anger I looked away from him and saw that a crowd was gathering. Great.

"Oh come on Blake," I said, making fun of him. A bit childish I know but it felt good. "What is there to talk about? I think I've been pretty clear. But if that's not enough for you then hows this, tell me about Mary." I crossed my arms and gave him the iciest stare I could muster. At first he said nothing, just staring at me stupidly. Then he had the nerve to act like he was innocent.

"Mary? Your best friend Mary? What do you want to know? She's your best friend, wouldn't you know more than me?"

"Oh come on I'm sure you could think of something I don't know, like what kind of kisser she is. Or whether she spits or swallows." OK I know that was probably too much but I was pissed. He just stood there red faced and sputtering. "Your silence is so reassuring," I said, laying the sarcasm on thick. "Now Blake listen good, we. Are. Over," I said lacing each word with venom. I turned to leave and heard him call out to me.

"Lici..."

"Don't call me that," I said without turning. Then I walked away without looking back. As I walked people actually started to clap. I couldn't help but smile even though I felt horrible.
I dashed straight to my first class, geometry and sat down. It was strange, I was the only person there. I checked the clock an saw that I was early. I pulled out a notebook and a pen and started to write.

So I did it, I broke up with Blake. Strange thing is, I don't feel how I thought I would. Its not that I regret it, I don't. I just expected to feel different. I mean I feel kinda relived, but I also feel really confused. I know I left him with good reason, I guess now that its done I have to face the other possible reason I have for doing what I did...

Just then I felt a tap on my shoulder. Damn, doesn't he get it? I whipped my head up to see, not Blake, but Izzy a kinda new friend of mine. Her blue/gray eyes looked startled and brighter than usual against her pale freckled skin. As she looked at me she started pulling on her lip ring.

"Hey," she said giving a little wave with her unoccupied hand. Then, keeping her hand up she said, "don't hit me."

"Hey," I said, a smile spreading across my face. "Why would I hit you?"

"Well you looked up with a look on your face like you were gonna hit someone and I'm on the other end of that look." As she spoke she lowered one hand and moved the other to push her blond and berry red streaked hair behind her ear.

"Sorry, I thought you were Blake."

"Nope, just me. Speaking of Blake though, good job. If he doesn't get it that you two are over, then he's dumber than I thought." She smiled and I laughed. It felt good to laugh.

"You saw that huh? Well thanks, but, uh, did you come in here just to congratulate me?"

"No, actually I came to apologize and thank you. I took your advice you know, about moving back in with my mom."

Izzy and I had just started hanging out not long after I lost the school election for President and was chosen by the winner, Jesse, as vice president. Jesse and her are best friends so we have been hanging recently. She had left home months ago cause her mom was a drunk and she (Izzy) had started cutting cause of all the stress at home. She stopped cutting and her mom stopped drinking but she was still afraid to go home. I convinced her that she should even if it was hard. At least her mom is trying.

"Cool." I said not knowing really what to say. "Well your welcome then, I kinda thought maybe I was to hard on you" I said while looking at down at my desk.

"No I needed it." She said while smiling again. Looking back on it later I realized that maybe that's what made me say what I did next.

"Hey you wanna hang after school?"

"Sure, meet me out front after the last bell." she said while looking at her watch, "Gotta get to class, see ya then!" She said as she ran out into the hall.

I just sat there for a second thinking, then was brought back to reality by the bell. Somehow the room had filled up around me without my noticing. I put my notebook away and got out my geometry book. I noticed that I was holding my breath and let it out. What was going on with me?
To Be Continued....