Skin Deep Part Seven

The rest of my shift was pretty boring, at least until Izzy got there. Sure Parker was there to talk to and what not, but work is work right? It was such a slow night that Parker and I had everything cleaned and ready for closing by 11:00. So the three of us just sat around and talked until the last movie let out and every body left. I let Parker go out the front before I locked up, then Izzy and I left out the back. Izzy pushed me up against the wall right as we got outside and kissed me. She pulled away breathless.

"Whoa, getting a little aggressive?" I say smiling.

She smiled back at me. "Are you kidding? I've been waiting to do that for hours."

"Well," I said while leaning into her. "Why did you stop then?" I kissed her again deeper, more urgent this time. The sound of footsteps stopped us and we pulled away. I turned to see Blake standing there. Great, I thought to myself. Just great.


He took a step towards us. "Ssso this who yer ssing now?" He asked sounding both drunk and angry.

"Yes Blake, she is. You got a problem with that?" I said, taking a step closer to him forcing myself not to back down. Even though my heart was beating so hard and fast that I thought I might die.

He stumbled a little, the look on his face turning from anger to a leer. "I juss didn't know you turned into a dyke. Its kinda hot though, can I watch, maybe join in?"

"Oh shut up!" Yelled Izzy from behind me. Wow, points for my girl.

That got him going again. "Don't you talk to me like that you little bitch!" He yelled as her strode right towards us. "Giddouta the way Aleeshia." He slurred.

"No." I said, standing my ground. He tried to push me aside, lucky for me he was too drunk and missed. I pushed him hard, putting almost all of my weight into it. It was forceful and he was drunk enough that he fell down. "Now Blake, we are leaving and you will not follow and I don't want to do this again. So leave me and Izzy ALONE!" I said making sure he got my point this time, then turned to Izzy grabbing her hand. "Come on lets go." I said and we left Blake on his ass in the parking lot.

We made it to my place both of us whole, unhurt and stupid ex boyfriend free. I found a note that my mom left out for me. It said that she would be out, possibly all night, that there was food in the kitchen and for me and my friend to have a good time. I turned to Izzy and she looked spooked. I walked over to her and put my arms around her. "Its gonna be okay Izzy, Blake is more talk than anything, trust me we are fine. He might even stop bugging me now that he knows we're doing whatever it is we're doing."

She pulled away from me. "But what if he tells someone at school? And what do you mean whatever it is we're doing? I thought you were okay with taking things slow."

I sighed a heavy sigh, I didn't want this conversation to go like this. "First off Izzy who cares if he tells someone? I bet most people wouldn't believe it any way and so what if they did? Its the truth isn't it?" I took a deep breath to calm myself before I kept going, I didn't want this to be a fight. "Izzy, I like you, you like me, whats the big deal? I mean why not just call it like it is. Like I know I want us to be together and I think you do too. There is no reason why we can't be together and take things slow, right?"

Izzy's face softened as she stepped closer to me. "Your right," she said, looking down and when she looked up she had tears in her eyes. "I guess I'm just scared. Scared of what other people will think or how they will treat us. Scared of what my mom will do and even a little scared by how much I feel for you." I closed the distance between us and put my arms around her. She put her arms around me and relaxed into my body for a moment, resting her head on my shoulder. Then she pulled back just far enough to look at me, our arms still around each other. "Aren't you sacred, even just a little?"

"Well yeah, but I know what I want and I don't want anything getting in the way. Yeah it can be scary but Izzy, your the first person that I've really ever been real with. I mean all the way, I'm never acting around you. I don't feel like I have to hide behind what every body expects of me when I'm around you. That's gotta mean something, so yeah I get scared but I don't want to screw this up." She kissed me hard like she would die if we weren't kissing. When she pulled away she was smiling at me.

"Ok." She said and I looked a question at her. "Lets do it, lets be girlfriends."

"Are you sure? I mean really sure, cause whether I like it or not I can wait." I said, feeling all mixed up. I didn't expect this to be so easy.

She paused before she spoke, still smiling at me. "Yes I'm sure, your right. I wanna be with you, I've just been scared. I've actually been thinking about it all day and my fear is the only thing that's stopping me. That shouldn't be enough, so yes I'm sure I want us to be together." I kissed her, I couldn't help myself.

The rest of the night we just hung out you know, talked, watched TV and of course we made out some more. As I fell asleep that night I was nothing but happy. Giddy even, I should have known it wouldn't last forever.

The next week went by with no evidence that Blake had blabbed to anyone. That didn't stop Izzy and I from being slightly edgy at school. We decided to keep the pda to a serious minimum, meaning none really at all. That is aside from quick hugs. It was fine, mostly. It only really bothered me when I would see other couples being all lovey dovey in the halls. But other than that I was cool. I was crazy happy. Being with Izzy was great even tho we had to be secretive. It helped that both Jesse and Piper knew about us. At least we could be open around them. I was finally starting to really be ok with our situation when Sunday rolled around. Izzy and I were hanging out at the park. We had been sitting close together talking, her hand resting on my thigh when we heard someone call her name. We automatically jumped apart and as her hand slid off my leg she looked behind us. I looked then too and saw one of her oldest friends, Ashley, walking toward us.

"Hey Izzy, Alicia" She said. Then she turned her attention fully to Izzy. "I've been trying to get a hold of you all day, whats up?"

"Oh," Izzy said while getting out her phone and looking at it. "Sorry I guess I forgot to turn it on. Why whats going on?"

They started talking and I just sort of tuned them out. I was a little bothered by what had just happened. Not that I didn't have a part in freaking as much as Izzy. But I didn't really like how fast we broke apart, like we didn't even have to think about it. I don't know maybe it just the uneasy feelings I've been having. What ever it is I don't like it. I don't really know whats bugging me so much. I mean just last weekend I was telling Izzy that being scared was a stupid reason not to be together. I meant it and I'm not having second thoughts so why the uneasiness? I vaguely heard Ashley say good bye before Izzy waved her hand in front of my face. I looked at her then.

"Whoa, where were you just then?"

"Nowhere, just thinking."

"About what?"

"Nothing, really." I lied.

"Like I'm gonna believe that." she said, giving me a look that clearly said, 'just tell me."

I sighed. "I don't know I've just been feeling kinda uneasy and The way we just broke apart so fast bothered me a little."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, it kinda bothered me too."

"Really?"

"Well yeah, I may not be ready for everyone to know about us, but that doesn't mean that hiding isn't gonna bother me."

"Yeah, its weird isn't it? I mean who woulda thought that you and me of all people would be weird about being out about being together."

"Yeah, maybe its cause we have both been through some rumor worthy stuff this year. For me thinking about the possibility that people other than Parker and Jesse might know something kinda sucks." She said thoughtfully. "No that's not it, its thinking that other people at school might get some skewed idea about us from someone like Blake. That's what I'm afraid of."

I thought about that for a second before speaking. "Yeah, I know what you mean cause I felt the same way, but Blake has known for a week and he hasn't said anything. I know Blake, he is not the type to sit on things. Chances are that he doesn't remember, or if he does, he thinks it was a dream or something. He was wasted so..."

"Yes, I guess your right. So now I guess we just need to figure out what our terms are and when we're ready for people to know."

Izzy agreed and we spent some time talking about it. We decided that we weren't gonna deny that we were together if anyone asked us right out. We also promised each other that even if it got bad we would talk, really talk before just calling things off cause we got scared. Lastly we decided that we weren't gonna try to hide our relationship, but we also weren't gonna be super public about it yet. As far as pda we would expand a little, like no kissing in the halls, but that typical girl things like holding hands or linking arms now and then would be ok. At least until we were 100 percent about everything and had some better ideas about how to deal with people's questions. We talked for so long that it started getting late enough that we should go home.Neither of us really wanted to go, but we kinda had to so I walked her home. We were feeling so good about us that we even risked a quick kiss before Izzy went inside.

It felt good to have talked about stuff, I was no longer waiting for things to get messed up. I got home and my mom was actually there. We ate dinner and talked for a while, it was nice. Then Izzy called just before I was about to go to bed. That was really nice. We talked for a while then took way too long getting off the phone. I went to sleep that night thinking of her and how awesome everything was going. I only had the slightest worry about school the next day. But any not so happy thought got pushed away by the dreams I had of Izzy all night.


The next morning I woke up feeling the slightest bit of apprehension but overall ready to face the day. As I suspected there was still no sign that Blake told anyone about Izzy and me. The only people who talked to either of us about us were Paige and Jesse. So all was well. The next week went by pretty quick. I found that it was kinda fun passing notes and sneaking kisses here and there. As time continued to pass all seemed well. We hung out with Parker and Jesse and his boyfriend a lot and spent as much time alone as we could. It wasn't until about the middle of the fourth week that our somewhat clandestine status started to bug me again. It was hard not to touch her when ever I wanted. It got really bad when suddenly it seemed that every straight couple in the school was kissing and holding hands and even making out ALL THE TIME! Now I know this probably isn't what was really happening, but it sure seemed like it. My hyper awareness of hetero pda at school made me mad. I started feeling like I wanted people to know about Izzy and me. Not only so I could kiss her in the hall if I wanted to, but because the fact that I couldn't just wasn't fair. Also, I was finally with a truly awesome person and I couldn't be open about it. Only five people know about us, two being us, two more being Jesse and Parker and the fifth one I'm not even sure he knows that he knows! My feelings about this seemed to follow me around like big nasty storm clouds. I knew I was being moody but just couldn't stop myself from feeling like shit. I was thinking about all this Friday while having lunch outside with Izzy.

"Hello! Alicia!" Izzy said, sounding frustrated and waving a hand in my face.

I snapped out of my trance to see my girlfriends pissed off face. "Huh? Oh, Izzy I'm sorry I was just thinking."

"Obviously. What were you thinking about? You've been kinda weird the past couple of days."

"Yeah well, I'm just in a mood I guess." I said suddenly getting annoyed. We just sat there for a while until she realized that I wasn't about to say anything else.

Her expression softened a little to end in a mixture of frustration and worry. "Whats up? Are you mad at me or something?"

That chilled me out a bit. "Oh, no Izzy I'm not mad at you. Not really."

"Not really?" She said, the frustration taking over the worry. "Well which is it? Are you mad at me or not?"

Shit now I've done it. "Izzy," I said while reaching for her hand then realizing what I was about to do and pulling away. That made my anger rush in and I hit the table with my fist. "Damn it! Izzy, I'm not mad at you." I said, trying to keep my voice down but failing. I noticed that people were starting to look at us, so I took a deep breath trying to calm down so I wasn't yelling. I leaned in so we were closer to each other. "Its, just (sigh) I'm mad at the situation we're in. But I don't know if this is the best place to have this conversation."

Before she started to speak I noticed there were tears in he eyes. "Well where would be a good place?" She asked.

God I'm making her cry, I'm such an ass. I almost grabbed her hand again so I sat on my hands before answering her. "I don't know th-" I was interrupted by the bell. "You wanna ditch and finish talking or wait until after school?"

She wiped away a tear. "Are you kidding, lets ditch, I think I'd go crazy if I had to wait till the end of the day." We gathered up our stuff and got up.

"Park?" I asked.

"Sure."

We were silent the whole way there, the tension was almost unbearable. I was having a hell of a time staying even a little calm. I put my arm around her for a bit but she seemed like she didn't want me to touch her like that which just amped up my anger. When we got to the park we headed to our favorite bench. She sat down and I started pacing in front of her.

"Alicia!" She said in a loud voice. "Stop pacing, your making me even more nervous that I already am!"

I stopped. "Sorry" I mumbled.

"Alicia," she said her tone and face softening. "Please sit down and talk to me."

I sighed a deep sigh, then sat next to her turning so we were facing each other. "Izzy, I really like you..."

She cut me off, a look of worry on her face. "But..." She said.

I shook my head, then raised my voice practically yelling at her I said "but nothing Izzy, that's the thing." I don't know why I was so mad, it kinda felt good to be mad.

She looked a question at me. "If your not mad at me then stop yelling at me!" She said, raising her own voice. "Your not making sense. What did you mean earlier by your mad at the situation we're in?"

"What I meant is I think it sucks that we're hiding our relationship, that we feel like we have to." I realized that I was still nearly yelling and tried to lower my voice. "I know I agreed to not be obvious about us, and it was ok for awhile." There I said that using almost my normal voice, points for me. I sighed and went on finally able to sound more calm even though I was still a little mad. "I hate looking all around and seeing couples holding hands and kissing in the halls, I want us to feel okay doing those things." A look of relief crossed her face then she laughed a little, that caught me off guard. "Whats so funny?" I asked, almost offended. I was being serious.

"Its just Alicia, your mad cause you wanna hold hands. You. You've gotta admit that's kinda funny."

I laughed the tension finally starting to really leave me. "Yeah I see what you mean, but seriously Izzy I'm gonna freak if things don't change soon. I don't want to push you into something your not ready to do but I feel like I can't be around you at school cause I always wanna touch you. Like more than linking arms or hugs. Then when I realize that I can't I get all pissed. You are my girlfriend it feels shitty to feel wrong about touching you just cause someone might see."

She just looked at me for a moment before she spoke. "I know what you mean." She said, and I couldn't believe it. "But I would be lying if I said I was sure I was ready to be out about us. I'm scared, really scared but at the same time I'm mad that I'm scared and that I feel like we have to hide." She leaned in for a quick kiss before continuing. "I know what you mean about the not touching stuff, funny thing is I don't know if it would make much of a difference in some cases."

"What do you mean?"

"Ashley, she keeps asking me all these questions about you, I think she knows there is something going on with us. That doesn't mean that I'm ready to tell every one. But it couldn't hurt to maybe relax on the touching rule."

"Okay, so what does that mean, relaxing on the touching rule?" I asked hoping for, what I'm not sure but anything would be better at this point.

"Well, I'm not ready to make out in the halls but neutral touching that borders on more would be okay. Like hugs that linger, an arm around the shoulders, a hand on a leg, that sort of thing." She said, looking at me hopefully.

I guess I was hoping for more, but that would do for a start. "Okay, but I think if either of of us wants more we should talk about it right away. That way we won't end up fighting."

"Whoa, did we just have our first fight?"

"Yeah," I said, giving her a look and smiling. "So uh, you wanna ditch the rest of the day and go make up? My mom won't be home yet." I leaned into her and gave her a long hard kiss so she couldn't say no. When I pulled away she had to catch her breath, man I'm good.

"Okay." Was all she said and we headed off to my place.


We made it to my place and started kissing as soon as the door was closed behind us. I backed her up to the couch and we fell on it and each other. I felt and urgency about her that I had never noticed before. We seemed to have lost ourselves to any sense other than touch. There was nothing more important than each others bodies, we were all lips, teeth, tongues, arms and hands. Then I started to be aware of my other senses. I noticed the sound of our frantic breathing. Then moving down from her face and opening my eyes I watched the pulse in her neck and breathed in the smell of her skin and hair. We had been sitting kind of side by side, turned toward each other. I kissed and bit along her neck and collar bone before pulling back a little. I just looked at her like I was memorizing her face before pushing her down and climbing on top of her. She kissed me and pulled me close, pressing our bodies together like she was trying to push right through me. We stayed like that for some time before I pulled back just enough to move my mouth to just behind her ear. I trailed kisses down her neck to work my way across her collar to the other side of her neck. I pulled a hand free from underneath her and let it slide down her body to her waist. Then I found what I was looking for and slid my fingers just under her shirt. When she didn't stop me I moved so I could push her legs apart with mine so I was kneeling between hers. I pushed her shirt up, stopping just before her breasts and leaned down to explore her stomach with my mouth. She squirmed under me and started making small sounds in her throat. I moved to push her shirt up farther and I felt her body grow tense. I pulled back till I was sitting on my knees between her legs and just looked at her.

We were both breathing heavily, when she caught her breath she spoke. "Why did you stop?"

For some reason the question annoyed me, but I did my best not to Let it show. "I thought you wanted to stop, you froze up." I said, getting a little confused then started moving down toward her again. "Do you want me to stop?" I said, my voice dropping low.

"No," she said while pulling me into a kiss. I picked up right where we were and pushed her shirt up over her breasts. I let my hand slide across the front of her, causing her breath to catch in her throat. I pulled away from her kiss to lower my mouth to her chest, kissing down until I reached the edge of her bra. At the same time I reached back to undo the little hooks. As I started to push the fabric out of my way, she tensed up again.

I pulled away to look at her again. "Do you want me to stop now?" I asked.

"No, yes, I don't know." She said while pulling her shirt down and sitting up. "God I'm sorry, you must think I'm so dumb."

"No, Izzy I don't think your dumb. I am confused though, I mean it felt like you wanted-"

She cut me off. "I do, its just, I don't know if I'm ready just yet. I mean this is all new, ya know?"

"Yeah I know, but damn, you make it hard."

She blushed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, your just so, mmm." I said as I moved in to her for another kiss. Then I pulled away a little. Just looking at her I started to realize how far and fast I was falling. She smiled and looked a question at me. "How about we keep things how they are but hands can roam. Clothes will stay on, I promise."

Her smile deepened. "How about shirts can come off," that got a smile from me and I grabbed her hand. "But, bras stay, for now."

I climbed off the couch, still holding on to her. "Sounds good, lets go to my room." She smiled as she got up and gave me a look that made me wish we could do more. We made our way to my room and closed the door behind us.

The rest of the weekend went by way too slowly. I had to work both Saturday and Sunday during the day so I couldn't see Izzy as much as I would have liked. Parker worked with me both days which was nice, even though she kept on bugging me about Izzy and me. Izzy showed up at the theater on Sunday with Ashley. At first it was awkward until I realized that Ashley had guessed right about us. Even though I don't really know if I even like her it was nice that someone else knew. Especially knowing how close her and Izzy had been it made me feel good. That night Izzy and I got to together as usual. We ended up talking a lot about how school was gonna go with our new relaxed rules about touching. Well mostly Izzy talked about it. I finally got her to calm down and convinced her that it would all be okay. I walked her home and then headed home myself. As I fell asleep, I couldn't help but be excited about the coming weeks. I thought about what it would be like if anyone tried to start something because of us. I drifted off with a smile on my face.

Somewhat to my disappointment, it seemed like everyone at school was blind. The whole week went by with no incident. I did notice a few curious looks here and there but nothing more. Sadly Jesse got duped that Friday. So that weekend Izzy spent a lot of time with Jesse helping him deal with the break up. I hung out with them a little but mostly stayed away. I figured he wouldn't want to be around a couple, see I can be sensitive. I guess that because of all that was going on I let my guard down some the next week at school. I wasn't even thinking about people at school finding out about Izzy and I until I ran into a certain ex best friend of mine. I was walking down the hall after the last bell looking for Izzy, when I herd a familiar laugh behind me.

"What do you want Mary?" I asked as I turned to face her, not even trying to hide how annoyed I was.

"Nothing I just thought you might be looking for your girlfriend." She said with a smug look on her face.

"And?"

She laughed. "So its true," she said, sounding way too amused. "I must say I'm surprised, I didn't take you for a queer."

"And what makes you think I care?" I asked. "In case you forgot we aren't friends so I really don't care what you think." Just then Izzy walked up, great timing I thought with the hall full of people.

"Whats going on?" Izzy asked.

"Oh and here's the girlfriend now, come to save the day Izzy?" Mary spat.

I felt Izzy grow tense beside me, I was so freaked. Then she did one of the last things I could have ever expected. She just shot Mary a deadly look then grabbed my hand and turned us down the hall away from her. Izzy was squeezing my hand, she was so nervous. I was so focused on her that I didn't have any time to react before she was wrenched away by Mary pulling on her hair. I spun around just in time to grab her hand before she could do any more damage. She struggled against my grip then kicked me in the shins. I fought not to let go of her then as I did I slapped her hard with my other had.

"God what is your problem Mary?" I asked, my voice just below screaming. "You jealous?" I asked, smiling. "Funny I thought you were straight." I said, utterly pissed. "Now I suggest that you go before I stop being nice," I said with a smile. She just stood there staring at me with a stupid expression on her face. I turned to look for Izzy and saw that she had moved up to stand next to me. I put my hands on her face and asked, "Are you okay?" She nodded and I let one hand drop down to her hand and she grabbed on. I looked up to notice Amy running away and everyone in the hall staring at us. "What?" I asked, venom in my voice. Suddenly everyone just went about their usual business. Izzy and I turned to leave and were stopped by Jesse who had a big smile on his face but still managed to look concerned.

He looked at Izzy then me. "Are you okay?" He asked.

I nodded then we both looked at Izzy, she took her time to answer. "Yeah, I think so." She said, obviously stunned.

Jesse hugged her then turned to me. "Alicia, your my hero, that was awesome!"

I couldn't help but smile, then I felt Izzy squeeze my hand. "Thanks Jesse," I said. "I think we should go now though."

"Oh," he said, while looking over at Izzy. "Oh yeah, well I'll see you two tomorrow."

"Bye." We both said in unison as we headed for the door.

We left school and headed straight for the park with out talking about it. When we got there we went right to our bench and sat down. I turned to face her and tried to figure out what was going on for her just by looking. She looked really shocked and her breathing was heavy but beyond that I couldn't tell what she was thinking. I waited for a minuet to see if she would speak or even look at me. She didn't so finally I spoke up.

"So, uh how are you doing?" I asked letting the concern I was feeling show in my voice. "Are you okay?"

She turned toward me, a smile forming on her face. "Yeah, yeah I am," she said. "Actually I feel good, kind of exhilarated."

"Really? I mean even though we got outed in the hall in front of so many people?"

"Well I admit it didn't go quite how I would have wanted, but yeah. I think I was ready for it, I just didn't know how to go about it. It felt good just turning away from Mary like that. Though I wish I would have said something. I'm not so freaked anymore cause I know by tomorrow the whole school will know."

I looked at her for a moment feeling really surprised. "I don't want to ask again, but I've got to. Are you sure? Its just that the other day you were so worried."

"Yeah, but I realized that I was hating hiding just as much as you. So I guess I'll just have to toughen up a little if anyone gives us crap."

That made me smile. "That's my girl."

She blushed. "But you, Jesse was right that was awesome, not to mention lucky. I mean that no teachers saw." She said, then a look crossed her face. "God, are you okay? I mean Mary used to be your best friend."

"Yeah I'm okay, it kinda sucked but shes a bitch anyway. I don't really know why we stayed friends for as long as we did." She gave me a look that said, are you sure? "Besides, I have you and Jesse and Parker, emphasis on you." I smiled and kissed her, I had to. As I pulled away she smiled back at me.

"I think I love you," she said immediately looking nervous.

I smiled, that was the first time anyone said that to me when I really believed it. I even believed myself when I said back to her, "Me too, I mean you. I love you." Then I kissed her again, deeper this time not caring who might see, not that I ever really did. We had to go home soon after that to study some but ended up talking on the phone that night before going to bed. We rehashed the events of that afternoon again then talked about what it was gonna be like that next day. We both agreed it would be interesting to say the least.

Skin Deep Part Six

"Hello Isadora, this must be your friend." Izzy's mom said. Right away I could see the resemblance. She was a bit shorter and rounder than her daughter but their freckled faces were practically the same. She had short light brown hair( which I realized could be Izzy's natural color) and wore glasses.

"Hey mom, yeah, this is Alicia," Izzy said while gesturing toward me.

"Hello," she said to me.

I swallowed before answering her. "Hey," I said while giving her a little wave. I hoped that her mom couldn't feel the nervous energy that was flowing through the room.

"How was the meeting?" Izzy asked.

"Good, it was Janis's year clean so we went for coffee after." Her mother smiled as she spoke and it made me wish that my mom was in recovery. The moment passed and I couldn't help but hope that her mom would leave soon. Then as if she knew what I was thinking she complied. "Well girls, I'm beat so I'm off to bed. Sleep well." Then she left, closing the door behind her.

Izzy and I looked at each other, then let out a collective breath. We both started to laugh then. "Whoa, that was close," I said to her.

"Yeah," she agreed. Then she took my hand and led me to the bed. "Now where were we?" She slid her arms around me and pulled me in for a kiss. I kissed back for a second until my brain got the better of me.

"What do you think she would have done if she saw us?" I asked getting a little nervous.

"I don't know," she said thoughtfully. "I don't think she would totally freak about the situation, but finding out that way would probably be pretty shocking."

"No shit." I say smiling , "so where are those shorts?"

"Oh," she said while reaching over to her bed and picking up a pair of boxers. "Here, you uh want me to turn around or something."

"Only if your uncomfortable, I don't care either way." I said while unbuttoning my jeans. She turned around and I smiled, its cute that she is a little shy. When I had the shorts on I walked up behind her and put my hands on her hips. "Its safe to turn around now," I breathed into her ear. She shivered and I reached one hand around the front of her to turn her body so she was facing me. I put every ounce of want I had to her in my face as I spoke to her. "So are we going to sleep now?" I noticed her breath catch before she answered me.

"Uh... if you want to." The air around us became so thick with tension that it was hard to breathe. "Are you tired?" She whispered while staring at my lips.

"No," I said, moving my face so close to hers that the slightest movement would cause our lips to touch. "You?"

"No." She breathed her lips pressed against mine, and then we where kissing. I slid my hands around to rest on her lower back. She wrapped her arms around me, one hand on my lower back, the other she tangled in my hair. She pressed into me, the kiss deepening, I started backing her up towards the bed. We were both lost in the kiss, all lips tongues and teeth. She pulled away from me when her legs touched the bed, then sat down and pushed herself back onto the bed. I follow her on my hands and knees then moved in to kiss her again. She stopped me by lightly pressing her fingertips to my mouth. "Alicia I'm not," she said getting nervous. "I mean its too soon to...I mean."

"Shh," I breath against her fingers before lightly kissing them and pulling back so that I was sitting on my knees. "Its okay Izzy, I'm not intending for any sex to happen, I just can't seem to stop kissing you. Any way the bed is as good a place as any for making out right?" I said, smiling at her. She laughed softly then pulled me to her, lying back as she did. We spent the rest of the night like that just making out until we were too tired. Then we drifted off to sleep, our bodies still tangled together.


The next morning the sound of voices in the hallway woke me up. I was still in a sleepy haze when the door opened. My heart sped up as I tried to get my heavy sleepy body untangled with Izzy's. I herd a familiar chuckle followed by the door closing and was relived when I looked up to find Jesse standing there, a huge smile on his face. I threw a pillow at him. Ellie who had woken up during my struggle smiled at her friend before she spoke.

"Good morning Jesse, what time is it?" She said while sitting up

"Well its not the morning any more, its almost 1:00" He said a mischievous grin sliding into place. "Up late last night girls?"

"So?" I say while noticing a blush creeping up Izzy's cheeks, "what of it?" I say with a smile to let him know I was joking.

"Whoa," he says, putting his hands out in front of him. "Just teasing Alicia no need to get all riled up." We all laughed as Jesse made his way over to sit on the edge of the bed. "So it happened! I am so happy for you two! Tell me all about it, so are you two together now?" He squealed in the softest voice possible. We looked at each other. I decided to go ahead and let Izzy answer cause the whole no label thing was her idea.

"Well," she said, looking down at her hands. "Sort of..." Jesse just looked at her kinda like she was crazy.

"What Izzy is trying to say is, we aren't rushing things. We are definitely into each other but we have decided not to label it just yet." Izzy looked a thank you at me and I smiled.

"Okay," Marco said, sounding a little confused, then he smiled. "Well Izzy, are we still on for today or are you gonna ditch me for Alicia?"

"Jesse!" She said sounding mock offended.

"No I'm just kidding we could all hang." He said while turning his attention to me, "that is if you want to?"

"Well what were you two gonna do?" I ask.

"Well," Izzy says turning to me with a strange smile on her face. "We were gonna go see a movie."

"Shit that reminds me, I gotta work today. But I'm not on till like 5 so if you two were planing on hanging for the day then we could all hang till I had to work and I could probably get you into the movie free."

"Sounds good to me!" Jesse said. Izzy turned to me smiling and gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Oh how cute!" Jesse said and I threw another pillow at him.

After Izzy and I got dressed and fed we all set out for the day. We mostly just hung around the park and played cards and Jesse took us on a little shopping spree. He did most of the shopping. Five o'clock came too soon and we all arrived at the theater. Parker was already there getting ready for the same shift as me. Her perfectly styled blond hair and her pretty, expertly makeuped face looked out of place amid the brown and orange of the theater uniform.

"Hey Alicia," she said, "you closing with me tonight?

"Yup." Parker turned her attention to the two next to me.

"Hey Jesse and Izzy what brings you to our fine theater?"

Jesse answered her, his words dripping with sarcasm, "uh the movies, you know we're gonna see one."

"Ha ha Jesse."

While the three of them talked I busied my self getting ready for my shift so I wouldn't just stare at Izzy. Parker joined me behind the counter and got Izzy and Jesse some snacks and drinks. As they were about to head into the theater Izzy caught my eye. She smiled at me and I smiled back. Then I spoke up to try and hide the blush that was threatening to creep up my cheeks.

"Have fun guys and watch out I might just have to come in there and throw popcorn at your heads if I get bored." We all laughed and I watched Izzy as she disappeared through the double doors. I turned to Parker who was giving me a look. "Slow right now huh?" I said while trying to avoid the look she was giving me. A group of people came up to the counter and I was saved. I took their orders and reluctantly sent them off to their movie. When I looked back at Parker she was giving me the look again. Finally I snapped. "What!" I said, my voice a little louder than I meant it to be. "Why the look Parker?"

She smiled then spoke. "Whats going on with you and Izzy?"

"What?" I say, getting a little nervous, "uh nothing, what do you mean?"

"I'm not stupid hon, I may be slow at times but after my brother and then Jesse I wised up." I just looked at her blankly for a minuet, I didn't know what else to do.

"I don't know what your talking about." I said, trying to be as convincing as possible.

"Yeah sure Alicia. I saw that look between you and Izzy and the way you watched her go. If it isn't love or at least infatuation, then I don't know what is." I was stunned, are we really that obvious? I'm not afraid to accept defeat, Parker and Jesse knew, no big deal, right?

"Okay, so your perceptive. But Parker don't say anything okay?" A huge smile spread across her face.

"Not a word," she said, starting to get all bouncy. "I'm guessing that Jesse knows though right?"

"Yes he knows, and Parker?" I say, reverting to my old self. "Quit the bouncy thing, your gonna make me sick." She laughed and I turned to restock the candy cases.

"So," she says while adding more kernels to the popper. "Tell, me! Are you two together now? Oh its so cute! Though I didn't know either of you were gay." I gave up trying to avoid talking about Izzy and me. Parker was obviously not willing to give it up.

"Well its complected. I don't know what Izzy is thinking about herself and at first I wasn't sure either. I just knew I liked Izzy, but now" I paused and shrugged my shoulders. "Now I'm pretty sure I'm gay. I guess I've always liked girls, I just wasn't willing to admit it to myself till now. As for Izzy and me being together, that's complicated too."

"What, how? I mean either you are or you aren't, right?"

"Well no, Izzy doesn't want to label us or something. We haven't really gotten a chance to talk about it sense last night. I said I was okay with it and I am, I just... Wait, why am I telling you all this?"

"Because I'm your friend and I asked, and you obviously aren't really okay with it."

I gave her a look. "What makes you say that?"

"Because like I said, I'm not stupid and like you said, I'm perceptive. So now I'm gonna give you some advise. If you want to be with her, tell her. Talk to her cause she is probably just a little scared cause this is new for both of you right?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to push her or anything."

"Well, maybe what she needs is a little push." Parker said smiling, any way, the look she gave you is enough for me to know that you two are girlfriend material." She jumped up and squealed. "Oh this is so cute! I know, I know," she said looking at me. "Stop bouncing."

We busied ourselves for a while making sure everything was in order, took care of the random customer and talked some more till I saw Parker look towards the entrance. "Oh great,"she said. "Here comes your favorite person." I turned around to see Blake headed our way.

"Alllshia." He slurred, "we have to talk."

"No Blake we don't, any way your drunk so leave now."

"NO!" He yelled, "I won't go, you have to talk to me." He reached across the counter and grabbed my arm.

I twisted out of his grip. "Blake go now I mean it or I'm calling the cops." He just stood there. "Look, " I said not even fighting how tired and fed up I sounded. "This really better be the last time I say this. Its over okay deal, I'm involved with someone else any way."

He laughed while still managing to sound mad. "Involved? With who?"

Parker jumped in then, phone in hand. "That, is none of you business is it Blake? But what is, is the phone in my hand." She said while bringing up her other hand, index finger poised and ready. "And this finger about to dial the police."

He put his hands out in front of him. "Okay okay, I'm leaving." He said as her turned to leave. Just then the movie that Izzy and Jesse had been in let out. I saw them notice Blake as they headed over towards us. Izzy looked concerned.

"Is every thing okay?" Jesse asked.

Izzy nodded, looking at me. "Yeah, was he giving you trouble?"

"I'm fine guys really, anyway its just Blake. No big deal, its dealt with." I smiled then, giving Izzy my full attention. "So, can I see you tonight after I get off work?" She started to blush, then glanced over at Parker nervously. "Don't worry, Parker knows, she guessed." Izzy looked surprised as she turned to talk to her, a concerned look in her eyes but Parker spoke before she could.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." Izzy just gave her a look. "Oh come on Izzy, did I blab to all of Smithston about Jesse when he told me?"

Izzy relaxed a little. "No you didn't. Okay I trust you, so you had better not say anything."

"Really Izzy do you think I would want to face the wrath of Alicia? I will NOT tell." We all laughed, then Jesse and Parker talked for a minuet while Izzy and I made plans.

"I know it will be a little late but you can hang here after you and Jesse are done. You could stay at my place if you wanted, I could possibly even persuade my mom to stay out of our way. She's probably staying over at boyfriend of the weeks house anyway. Just call your mom or stop by or whatever. Make up an excuse if you need to..."

"Alicia, chill out, I'll ask my mom. Your acting like I wouldn't want to spend more time with you. The four and a half hours between now and you getting off work are long enough." She says, smiling at me. Then Jesse came over saying he was hungry and they turned to leave. "I'll probably be here early, bag packed and all." She smiled as they left.

Skin Deep Part Five

The rest of the week was strange. It seemed to both fly by and creep along. I remember agonizing on Wednesday over the fact that Friday seemed so far away. Next thing I know, it is Friday and I'm waiting for my day to end. I have been in such a daze that I was surprised to find out that I got a B on my geometry quiz and I still wasn't failing ecology. Lets hope it stays that way cause today I was kinda just going through the motions of my day. All I could really think about was Izzy. Even during lunch when Parker, my friend from work rattled on to me about her boyfriend troubles. But now I was sitting in class, watching the last few seconds tick by on the clock. The bell rang and I jumped, even though I knew it was about to. I looked over to see Jesse walking in, laughing.

"Too much coffee Alicia?"

"Huh?" I said confused, Jesse just smiled at me for a second. "What?" I nearly screamed at him.

"Whoa down girl. Its just that your a little jumpy, I mean it was only the bell Alicia." He said, his smile getting bigger "nothing to be scared of really, the bell doesn't bite."

"Oh shut up." I say while getting up and giving him a little shove. "Come on," I say as I lead us into the hall. "We have a meeting and I have plans later." A grin appeared on his lips again and I almost couldn't stand it. "What the hell is up Jesse? You have been giving me strange looks all week and giggling and stuff. So come out with it, whats going on?" Just then I felt someone squeeze between us, I look over to see that its Izzy. God, there go those butterflies in my stomach trying to out beat my heart.

"Hey you two." She says, that smile of hers playing on her lips, "Jesse how long do you think you two will be?" She asks, turning her head slightly towards him.

"Oh I don't think we will be more than an hour or two." He says.

Then Izzy turns to give me her full attention."So you wanna meet at my place say around 4:30 or 5ish?" For a second I forget how to speak as I look into her eyes.

"Uh... yeah, but I don't know where you live now."

"Oh that's okay,"Jesse says, "I'll get you there."

"Thanks" Izzy and I say at the same time. Then she slips out from between us and turns to talk to us while walking backward. "So I'll see you in a little while then, don't forget your book. Oh and don't worry about food I've got it covered." Then just as she is turning around she calls over her shoulder, "Bye guys!" I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding while closing my mouth which was hanging open. I realize how I must look so I try to compose myself while I turn to face Jesse.

"So where are we meeting?" I ask, then I notice the look on his face. He looks all pleased with himself like a kid who just got into the cookie jar. "Jesse! Again I'll ask, what is going on with you?"

"I just. Wow," he says while shaking his head. "But never mind that, we have business to attend to. You wanna get coffee while we meet? I know this cool place not far from here."

"OK whatever, but I'm not gonna let you change the subject so easily. Really whats up?"

"Nothing I'm just happy that you and Izzy are becoming friends." I give him a look that says clearly you are bull shitting me.

"Really? How come I don't believe that that's it?"

"Well, because that's not all of it, but your not getting anything more out of me. At least not now." I sighed because I knew I was defeated and there was no use in pushing any more.

"OK, whatever. Lets just get this meeting done with." I notice that he has that mischievous look on his face again. "Oh no Jesse, if your not gonna tell me why you keep giving me that look then you need to stop." The look got stronger, "I mean it! If you give me that look one more time then I'm gonna make you tell me what its about. Got it?" Finally the look faded away.

"Yeah okay Alicia, I guess its only fair." Just then we stopped outside of some cafe I didn't even know existed. It was an old looking brick building with some kind of vines growing on it. Pretty cool. Inside it was even nicer, hard wood floors, funky wooden tables and flowers and art everywhere.

After getting some drinks and a snack we sat down and got going on our meeting. I tried really hard to pay attention and I guess I did alright. I figured out that Jesse wanted to have a blood drive at Smithston. I even added in a comment here and there, though I still managed to be consumed by thoughts of how things were going to go with Izzy. We talked about the drive and some other more boring stuff for about and hour and a half. Then I started getting anxious. Very soon I was going to be alone in a house with a girl who can make my whole body feel like its charged full of electricity just by smiling. I am going to be alone with a girl who I think might like me back but I'm just not sure. Maybe its just wishful thinking that she could like me back. I was so deep in thought that I didn't notice that Jesse was talking to me.

"Alicia, hello!" He said in a loud voice, "man, where where you just now? I swear a marching band could have plowed through here and you wouldn't have noticed."

"Oh nothing, I was uh, just thinking." I say, feeling a blush creeping up my cheeks. God I have it bad, I don't usually blush this easily. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I was saying that we should go. Izzy is probably waiting and I have to meet up with my David."

I give him an appropriate "your going to see your boyfriend smile before grabbing my stuff and speaking. "Yeah. Okay, lets go."

We headed out and of course I start to get nervous again. I couldn't help but worry that I was gonna some how screw it all up again. Like, should I try to kiss her again if the tension gets all built up like last time? Should I just wait for her to make the first move, if she makes any at all. Or should I just forget about it an realize its never gonna happen? It was just too much for my brain. And what about Jesse? I keep feeling like he knows something I don't. Like Izzy told him something, which I guess makes sense cause they are best friends and all. But really its just killing me not knowing what to expect. I have never been this in the dark about someone I was into. Of course I had never really been into another girl before, at least one I let myself be into. So I was bound to run into some issues around it all right? I had gotten so lost in my thoughts (again) that I hadn't noticed how long we had been walking for, or even what direction we where headed. When I shook myself out of my thoughts and paid attention to where I was I realized we weren't far from my place.

"Hey, does Izzy live close by?" I asked Jesse.

"Yeah, just a few more blocks." He said, "hey I never noticed how close together you two live. Don't you ever see each other around?"

"No, but she did just move back in with her mom. I didn't really know her before so even if I did see her around before I might not have really noticed." As I said that I wondered to myself how I could have seen her and not noticed. Then I remembered I was all into Blake, why, I don't think I'll ever know. I seem to remember thinking he was cute when we first started dating, but I don't know why I stayed with him for so long.

"Well here we are." Jesse said while stopping me and pointing up at the small house. We walked up to the door and my heart leaped into my mouth. When Izzy opened the door I couldn't seem to talk around it for a minute.

"Hi." I finally choked out.

"Hey guys," she said while stepping aside to let us in. I was suddenly hit by the smell of pizza and realized how hungry I was.

"Ooh pizza, you order out?"

"Actually no," she said "I made it myself, You wanna stay and eat Jesse?"

"Oh Izzy I wish I could, it smells so good, but I've gotta go meet up with David. He is taking me out to eat so I have to pass."

"That's okay," she says with a smile, "that just leaves more for us." As we say goodbye to Jesse I think I catch Izzy and him share some kind of look. I try not to think about it too much though cause my mind was driving my crazy enough as it is. As Jesse turned to leave I found myself almost wishing that he would stay. I so didn't know what I was gonna do alone with Izzy. But then it happened, he was gone and it was just me and her. My heart had left my mouth but instead lodged its self in my throat. I am so overwhelmed by just being near her that I'm not even really aware of my actions. I vaguely remember taking off my hoodie and handing it to her before following her to the kitchen. She turns toward me, "I hope you like veggie pizza." She says that smile of hers in place, god is it getting hot in here? My palms are sweating and I realize that I'm not breathing. I let out my breath and take a deep one, counting to ten. Satisfied that I've calmed down some I look at her, she looks concerned. "Are you okay Alicia?"

"Yeah," I say while concentrating on my breathing so I can at least pretend to be calm. "Just hungry is all, I'm a little dizzy." That was true, I do feel dizzy but I don't think its all about hunger.

"Here then sit down I'll get the pizza." She says, ushering me to a chair. I sit and start to calm down even more. At first I look around her house. I was sitting in what I guess was the dining area. I had a view into the kitchen and if I looked to the right I could see the living room. Her place was so not like mine, not just the fact that she lives in a house and I in an apartment. No her place was way nicer than mine. All the furniture matches though there is still something that lets me know that they aren't that much more better off than my mom and me. After looking around, my attention turns to Izzy. I just watch her move around the kitchen. I notice that she has changed sense I last saw her. She is wearing a black bondage skirt with buckles and chains all over with a white men's button down dress shirt with the sleeves cut off. The outfit was completed by a pair of black sleeves with buckles at the top fish nets and black boots. She looked real good, so good that I almost felt under dressed in my same old boots, jeans and tank. Just then I noticed that she was headed toward the table I was sitting at. She caught me staring, so I look away as fast as I can before speaking.

"Wow Izzy the pizza smells great, " I said then took a bite. "Damn it tastes even better. You made this?"

"Yeah, but before you get too impressed you should know that I burned the first one." She smiles, "yeah I had to run to the store to get another crust and some more sauce and cheese." She laughs, "at least I had enough veggies still, that would have sucked to have to get more of everything."

"Yeah, but what ever happened this is really good" I said smiling. "So should we get down to business?" I say while getting my book out of my bag. She agreed then got up and ran off, returning with her copy of The Metamorphosis.

We went over some of the finer points of the book and read some of her favorite passages. Finally I started to get it, its weird how I can be so nervous around her one minuet then so comfortable the next. "So," I say to her, "I think I get what you are saying about being seen. He is all freaked out about being a bug and his family is too, but they should be paying attention to him inside. Like your outsides or how others percive you shouldn't matter as long as your a good person on the inside. But they get all freaked out any way in the end. Its kinda sad."

"Yes! You really got it," she said while looking intently at me, that smile that I love curving up her lips. "So you wanna do something else now? I mean how lame are we if we spend all Friday night studying?"

"Yeah, right. So what do you wanna do?"

"Oh I don't know, we could watch a movie or something. There is a video store near by."

"Yeah I know, hey Izzy did you know that we live way close to each other? " She shook her head so I kept talking. "Yeah, I live in the big brick building, you know, the one that's like eight blocks..." I look around trying to figure out where I am, then figure it out and point. "That way."

"Oh, really? Well that's cool, kinda weird that we haven't run into each other." She looked down then and fiddled with her shirt, then looked back up. "So do you wanna go get a movie?"

"Sure, lets go." We headed out to the video store and I started to feel my nervousness coming back. I kept as cool as I could the whole time. We ended up picking out The Grudge, Izzy a little reluctantly but I was excited about it. I had wanted to see it in the theater but of course it didn't come to the one I work at and I just didn't get around to it. I assured her that if it got too scary for her that we could turn it off and also I was pretty sure that it wasn't gory.

Soon we were back at her place. We popped some popcorn and settled ourselves in front of the TV. I was really enjoying the movie, even though I was terribly aware of how close Izzy was to me. I tried to just focus on the movie even when I thought she turned to look at me a couple of times. I moved my hand off of my lap and it ended up lightly touching her hand. My heart sped up, what should I do? Would I be all obvious if I moved my hand now, or would she think I was trying to hold her hand if I didn't move? I finally decided that I had thought about it for too long so I just left it there. The movie was nearing the end and it was like creepy scene after creepy scene. When the ghost girl came contorting herself down the stairs Izzy grabbed my hand. My heart started pounding so hard, and it wasn't because of the movie. I took a deep breath and turned to look at her. She was looking right back at me. She let go of my hand but didn't move hers so it rested on top of mine. Suddenly any rational thought I might have once had left me as I leaned in towards her. I licked my suddenly dry lips just before they touched hers. The kiss was quick and chaste, I suddenly realized what I was doing and pulled away.

"Oh god Izzy I'm sorry. I don't know what-" But I didn't get to finish, she cut me off with a kiss like no other kiss I had ever had. It was gentle at first, then she lightly placed her fingertips on my cheek. I parted my lips and she let her tongue slip inside my mouth as mine came up to meet hers. I slid my arms around her back as little chills ran all through my body. The kiss ended though I wished it would go on forever and we pulled slightly away from each other. We were still touching when we both opened our eyes slowly to look at each other. I noticed that we were both breathing heavy and I didn't know what to do or say. All I managed was "wow." It was practically a whisper. She smiled at me then.

"Yeah" was all she said, her smile getting bigger.


I turned so that my body was facing hers, I tried to slow my breathing though it didn't work. I even tried to think of something to say. Finally I just gave up trying to calm down or talk to her at all and I moved in for another kiss. I pulled her in closer to me as we kissed, god I can't believe this is happening. We kissed for much longer this time so that when we pulled away I felt a bit more satisfied. We just sat there for a while looking at each other, I reached my hand out to her and slid it gently down her cheek. She smiled at me and I smiled back and for once I was the first to break the silence.

"So," I said starting to get a little confused as what just happened started to sink in. "What was that?" She looked a question at me before she spoke.

"What do you mean? It was a kiss well two actually, well kinda three."

"I just mean, you know after what happened at the park the other day I was sure you weren't into me like that."

"Oh yeah, that." She said as she dropped her gaze back down to her lap. "I guess I just freaked, I never kissed another girl before," she said, while fidgeting with her shirt. "I mean I've noticed girls before but they never noticed back, I got a little confused is all. But I'm not any more, confused that is."

"So, what does this mean? Are we gonna have a clandestine affair now or something?" I say while laughing.

"Wow big words tough girl."

"Hey this tough girl has got quite the vocabulary stashed way. But don't tell anyone, it would ruin my rep." We both laughed at that. Then I realized that the credits were rolling on the TV screen. "Well so much for the end of the movie huh?" I said while trying to come up with another way to bring up the subject of us.

"Yeah, uh Alicia?" She asked while taking my hand in hers, I looked at her and she continued. "About whats next, I don't really know, but I don't think we have to jump to labeling this just yet ya know. We could just see what happens."

"Yeah okay that sounds good," I said smiling. "We will just see what happens." Izzy smiled as if she was afraid of what I would say, but relived now that I had agreed with her. Then just like that I was back to not knowing what to do or say. I glanced at the clock and realized that it was already almost 10:30. Now I really didn't know what to do cause I didn't want to leave any time soon. Just then Izzy spoke.

"Uh, you wanna spend the night?"

"Whoa! Moving a little fast aren't ya?" I said jokingly while watching her blush.

"No, I didn't mean like that. I just don't want you to go yet so if you stay over, that problem is solved."

"Uh-huh," I say, grinning. "Yeah I just gotta call my mom, uh is your mom gonna be okay with my staying over?" Izzy blushed even harder.

"Uh, yeah, well she is okay with it." She said while trying to hide the red that was creeping up her cheeks and getting deeper every second. "See I already asked her."

"Oh, pretty sure of yourself aren't you?" I said laughing, she just looked at me a little embarrassed then joined in with my laughter. When we had calmed down some she glanced at the clock.

"My mom should be home soon, why don't you call yours while I go get ready for bed." She said while getting up from the couch, still holding my hand and looking at me. I watched a thought slide behind her eyes, "Uh do you need something to sleep in?"

"Sure, shorts or something would be great." I say while squeezing her hand then letting her go. I watch her as she turns off the TV and heads up to her room then I find the phone and call my place. I get the machine as I expected so I leave a message. My heart is beating like crazy as I head up towards her room, but this time its from excitement instead of fear or nervousness. "Izzy?" I call, then follow her voice to her room, "You decent?" I ask as I slowly push open the door. When I step into her room I find her standing near the bed wearing a tank top and boxer shorts then I notice that her sleeves are still on. "So, whats with the sleeves?" I ask while trying to hide my sudden concern.

"Uh..." She says while obviously getting nervous, "I just...uh." She doesn't say any more so I walk towards her and when I get to her I take her hand in mine.

"Izzy, you didn't start..." I just let what I was going to say hang in the air waiting for her to answer. I watched her face for any sign of what was up and saw her realize what I was thinking.

"Oh no, no I'm not cutting again, I...uh... I just don't want you to see my scars." After saying this she looked down and pulled her hand away from mine. I stepped even closer to her reached out to her then thought better of it and just let my hand drop.

"Oh Izzy, look at me please." I say using the most gentle voice I could find. Then slowly she did look up at me. "I don't care about that," I said keeping my voice steady and gentle. "Any way I thought you were doing really well with all that stuff.

"I am I just don't want to mess things up." She says, getting visibly nervous again, "I just don't want you to think I'm a freak or weak or something." I take her hand again softly then slowly trail my hand up her arm to the top of her sleeve. She started to pull away then I assured her that it was okay. I undid the buckle at the top then began to push the sleeve down her arm revealing white shiny scars. One after the other like uneven train tracks, I let the sleeve fall to the floor then I raised my hand up so that I was nearly touching the highest scars. I looked into her eyes.

"Can I?" I practically whispered, my hand hovering over her arm. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and swallowed. When she opened them again her eyes were shiny with tears but open, trusting at the same time.

"Okay." She said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. I moved my hand the last small bit of distance to touch her scared arm. I let my hand slide over each one exploring them, then I looked back up into her eyes.

"Izzy they don't make you seem weak at all, its more like the complete opposite. They are like a sign of what you've been through, how strong you are." A few tears trickled down her cheeks. "Oh, don't cry."

"Don't worry they aren't sad tears, their happy ones. See only two people have really ever seen my scars besides my mom. That would be Matt, you know my ex and Parker. Parker caught me cutting in the bathroom at school. So Matt is the only person I showed because I wanted to. I didn't even really want to show my mom." She paused to wipe away the last of her tears. "None of those people ever saw them the way you do," she said as a smile spread across her face. She pushed down the other sleeve, threw it aside then came to stand so close that her body was nearly pressed against mine. "Thank you," she breathed as she kissed me, stepping in to close the distance. Everything around us just sort of melted away, then I was vaguely aware of a sound in the hallway near the door. There was a knock on the door and we jumped apart trying to look casual as the it opened and Izzy's mom stepped in.

To Be Continued

Skin Deep Part Four

The next morning, it took every ounce of strength I could muster just to get out of bed. Thankfully the apartment was quiet so there would be no mom dodging today. I lay in bed so long, I even considered playing sick. I was so afraid of what would happen if or when I saw Izzy, but I couldn't hide in my room forever so finally I got up. I hopped in the shower and just about screamed, one of the joys of being poor is that you never know if you'll have hot water. After the fastest shower known to human kind I threw on some blue jeans and a red T-shirt, my boots and my hoodie. On my way out I grabbed an apple then almost screamed again when I saw something on the couch. I turned out to be my mom. She looked peaceful amid the jumble of miss-matched furniture then I saw the beer in her hand. So I crept over to her, gently pulled the can out of her grasp and pulled the green and brown couch blanket over her. Taking care of my mom for those few minuets was a welcome distraction. Unfortunately, it didn't last for long. As soon as I started walking down the hallway my thoughts went right to Izzy. God I hope she will forgive me. I got outside just in time to catch the bus. The bus driver gave me a not so nice look when I only put half the fair amount in the little fair box. Whatever, he let me on anyway. I took out The Metamorphosis and tried to read, but it only made me think of Izzy. Thankfully the ride was pretty short and I shoved the book in my bag as I left the bus. I managed to make it through the first half of my day without running into her. As I walked through the halls trying to figure out what I was gonna do for lunch, I felt someone tap my shoulder. I almost had a heart attack as I turned to see who it was. I calmed down just a little when I saw that it was Jesse.

"Hey Alicia, you OK?"

"Uh, yeah." I said, hoping eh wasn't about to talk to me about Izzy. "Whats up?"

"Not much, I just wanted to talk to you for a sec." I tried really not to show how nervous I was. By the look on his face I failed. "So," He said, his worried look turning into a mischievous smile. What did you do to Izzy yesterday?"

"Oh god, is she OK? She hates me doesn't she? Shit tell her I'm sorry would you?"

"Whoa slow down Alicia, you've got it all wrong. I'm pretty sure she doesn't hate you." As he said the last his smile got bigger. "So what did you do?"

"Nothing," I said totally unconvincingly.

"Come on Alicia, I know something is up and Izzy won't spill."

"Well if your best friend won't tell you then why should I." I smiled at him coyly. He smiled then hung his head, shaking it.

"Well I guess you got me," he said, starting to back up. "At least now I have a better idea of why why you wanted to talk to me yesterday." He flashed me a brilliantly smug smile before turning to walk away.

"Jesse!" I shouted after him, "come back here!" Now I was even more confused. What had Izzy told him? Does this mean that she LIKES me too? My brain was buzzing once again as I made my way to the cafeteria and through the lunch line. As I looked for a somewhat secluded spot to sit I came to a conclusion. I figured that it would be great if Izzy does like me but really as long as she is cool with being friends with me, well thats what really matters. I decided that Izzy, may not like me but just wants to be my friend. I guess that the gay thing wouldn't be a big deal for her sense her best friend is. I had just found a spot and was angling to it when Izzy stepped in front of me. Oh my goodness, I swear that my heart almost jumped out of my mouth.

"Hey Alicia," she smiled her beautiful smile as she spoke.

"Hey," I said, feeling my cheeks flush. "Look, I'm sorry about yesterday." Wow I am such a nerd.

"Don't worry about it. So, I just wanted to make sure that we are still on for Friday?" Oh my god, I don't know if I can speak. I take a breath that I hope wasn't that obvious before trying.

"Uh... yeah. I mean if you still want to, that is." Her smile grew as she looked me right in the eyes.

"Yes, I want," she said as she turned and walked away. I didn't know what to say, which was ok. I was speechless.

Skin Deep Part Three

Sixth period went by fast, probably cause of my anticipation for the end of school. Funny thing is, after the bell rang I just sat there at my desk until I finally mustered up the courage to leave. My heart started beating uncontrollably fast as I approached the front doors to the school. By the time I actually got there and saw her waiting for me, my heart had decided to take up residence in my throat. "Just breathe," I told myself as I approached her.

"Hey," I said as she looked up at me. She smiled. I thought I would melt. Its weird, now that I admitted to myself that I most likely do have a crush on her its easier to just let the feelings come. "So, what do want to do?" I say while trying really hard not to fidget too much.

"Well I'm starving and am in serious need of caffeine, wanna go to Esspresorama? They have pretty good food. Then we can eat and decide what else to do."

"Good idea, now that I think about it I'm kinda hungry myself." Or are those just butterflies in my stomach?

We headed off and about a half hour later we were talking over sandwiches and iced coffee. Izzy had been talking for a while but I realized I hadn't really been listening. I spent most of the time she was talking trying not to stare at her lips, or any other part of her for that matter. Well besides her eyes, eye contact is good right? Though it could be terribly wrong if my eyes gave too much of what I was feeling away.

"So you know what I mean? Uh hello earth to Alicia, you there?"

"Uh... what... yeah." I said, coming back to reality, then immediately feeling guilty for not paying attention to her. "OK so no I have no idea what you where saying. I spaced out, so what was that? I promise I'll pay attention this time." I said that last part putting every genuine bit of me into my face.

"Oh never mind really it was nothing, just talking about the book we're reading for English. You do have Mrs. Haney right?"

"Yeah. Oh, you mean the weird one about the guy who wakes up one day and is a bug? I really don't get it, do you?"

"Actually I do," she said while sliding her gaze to stare intently at her fries. "I uh kinda relate to it in some weird way. Its like about being seen, you know? Like when even his family shuns him, its like they can only see the surface. Like they can only see whats skin deep, ya know? Oh well I guess you don't sense you said don't get it. Oh god I'm starting to babble now, please make me stop, I must sound like such an idiot."

"No not at all, " I say while trying to fight the silly grin that was threatening to take over my face. "You just sound like you've got a kind of passion for something that your into. That's cool, I wish I got it." She looked up at me smiling and I couldn't stop myself so I just spoke. "Hey you wouldn't wanna study together sometime, help me understand it better?" Did her smile just deepen or am I imagining things?

"That could be cool, hey what are you doing Friday? We could start out studying then just hang. My mom goes to a big AA meeting on Friday nights, then they all usually go out for like coffee and snacks after or whatever. So will be a parent free environment." She smiled. Damn Is that my heart speeding up?

"Sure, I gotta meet up with Jesse after school, some student council thingy. But after that I'm free."

"Cool, then Friday it is." She said, then we just sat there for a while, I ended up shoving some chips into my mouth just to have something to do. Then Finally she spoke again. "So do what do you wanna do after we leave here? Do you still wanna hang or..."

"Uh I don't know, we could go to the park or something. What do you want to do?"

"The park sounds good", she said while throwing some money on the table. "That should cover mine. Be right back, bathroom."

She left me sitting there not knowing what to do next. I kept feeling like maybe she was interested in me too. But then again that could just be wishful thinking. Some waiter came by and took our dishes and money. I continued to think, I've been doing a lot of that lately, maybe too much. Soon though I was saved from my own brain by Izzy.

"So you ready to go?" she says, that smile on her face.

"Yeah, lets go."


We left and headed for the park. My mind was racing as usual, I kept wanting to hold her hand or something cheesy like that. God what is happening to me? Instead of acting on my strange impulse I decided to try real hard to think of something to talk about. A little later when we arrived at the park Izzy took care of my problem and broke the silence first.

"So do you see a lot of free movies?"

"Huh?" I questioned, then I think she blushed.

"You do work at a movie theater, right"

"Oh yeah. We don't tend to get many good ones though. I got the job cause, well I needed money. Also I like movies but then nothing good comes to our theater so it kinda sucks. But at least I get paid and I don't loose any money watching bad movies." Haven't we talked about my job before? Why are we talking about my stupid job? Come on brain, I think to myself, help me out. Soon I found I was obsessing over what to talk about but was thankfully pulled out of my thoughts by Izzy yet again breaking the silence.

"Uh, Alicia?" She says, her eyes darting from my eyes to her hands.

"Yeah, whats up?" Really, whats up, why am I suddenly all nervous again? She stops looking at her hands and looks me right in the eye.

"I just wanted to thank you again and apologize for the way I acted the other night. I was so self obsessed that I wasn't thinking about your feelings, I'm sorry. I was only thinking about my situation and I never even stopped to think about you. I shouldn't have assumed that you wouldn't understand." She looked down again, god I am the one who is selfish. All I want right now is for her to look at me again.

"Really Izzy its okay, I was kinda harsh on you right? So its fine no harm done." She looked up at me again and I could swear I might loose it. She gives me that smile and I could swear the temperature just went up a few notches.

"Are you sure? I mean we're just really starting to get to be friends and I feel like I screwed up pretty bad. It made me realize that I don't really know you that well. It was unfair of me to make such messed up assumptions about you." She looked down again for a moment, causing her hair to slide out from behind her ears. She looked up then and started to talk again, looking at me through the curtain of her hair. "I have to admit, I was pretty surprised when you asked to hang out today."

"Yes I'm sure," I said thinking that I might regret what I was about to say but ignoring the thought. "Really in a way its more my fault than anything. I'm the one who never lets anyone in. I put up this front of being this super tough girl when really I'm a marshmallow."

"Oh come on," she says almost laughing. "You can't tell me that all of it is an act. I mean the way you told off Blake today, that had heart in it."

"Yeah but that's not being tough really that's just surviving. I mean I'm not gonna take any shit from a guy even if, no especially if he is my boyfriend. That's more like being smart, you know?"

"Yeah I guess I see what you mean, but some people wouldn't be able to stand up for themselves like that, even if they wanted to. That's pretty tough, I'd say. I mean doing the standing up you know?"

"Yeah I got it, so I guess I'm a little tough, but I'm not the only one. Your pretty tough yourself Ms. DeLancy."

"What? Are you kidding?"

"No." I say getting a little serious, "They way you have overcome so much, and moving back in with your mom was a big deal. Especially with the way you where feeling about her."

"Thanks, I never thought of it that way" she said her eyes locked with mine. Oh god I don't know what I'm gonna do, I want to kiss her so bad right now. Well I know one thing, I can stop being confused. I defiantly have a crush on her. She smiled again and the air around us got so thick I swear you could cut the tension with a knife.

"Uh... no problem." I choked out between stifled breaths. Am I moving closer to her or am I hallucinating? My heart is beating so fast and hard that it feels almost like I'm high or something.

"Are you okay?" She asks her voice quiet.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say in a whisper. I am suddenly so nervous that I'm barley aware of whats going on. Suddenly I realize that our faces are so close that a breeze could push us together. I lick my lips and look at hers, my whole body is screaming JUST KISS HER ALREADY!. Just as I'm about to I hear her take in a sharp breath. Suddenly she is sitting back and speaking.

"I... uh... have to go... uh... homework," she says as she gets up and before I know it she is gone.

Shit, I definitely blew it now. What was I thinking? What will I do tomorrow at school? I am so stupid, I can't believe I just tried to kiss her. But I could swear she was there with me. I'm not usually clueless when it comes to stuff like that. Maybe girls are different but I could swear she was feeling the same stuff I was. Guess I was wrong and she could have been a good friend. I hope at least that I didn't ruin the chances of that cause I could really use friends right about now.

I left the park feeling all screwed up and rejected, not to mention a little confused. Why if I'm gonna like girls does it all have to start out like this? The whole way home I was plagued by thoughts of what will happen the next time I see her. I have gone through every horrible scenario I could think of by the time I reach my house. The house was dark, good. I so don't want to deal with my mom wright now. I head up to my room stripping off my back pack and hoodie on the way. When I get there I throw myself onto my bed feeling numb and still freaked out by the prospect of having to face her tomorrow. Finally I was able to silence my brain enough that I began to fall asleep. just as I was on the edge of sleep the phone rang waking me up. I threw myself off my bed to get the phone, thinking that is just might be Izzy.

"Hello?" I answered. Nothing, "hello?" I said again, still nothing but the faint sound of someone breathing. "Creep" I said as I hung up. I have got to talk my mom into caller id. I went back to bed and fell into an uneasy sleep.

To Be Continued.....

Skin Deep, Part Two

The first half of the day went by in a blur. I mean I was present for the most part, but my thoughts kept sliding over to Izzy and our plans for the afternoon. I don't even really know why. OK that's a lie, maybe. Well really I'm just not sure, every time I start to let myself really think about it I chicken out. Which is crazy, right? I mean its all in my own head so whats to be scared of? So that's what my brain has been like all day and now its time for lunch. I gathered up my stuff and headed out of my U.S. history class and off to the cafeteria. As I walked I started thinking again. After some serious battling with myself I finally decided to talk to the one person who just might be able to help me. Jesse, school president and my new friend the only problem with that is that he is Izzy's best friend. Well that and our friendship is kinda tentative right now. At least on my part, see last year I was kinda mean to him. I used to refer to him as the gay kid and even nastier things to his face. I would love to blame my actions all on Blake, problem is I'm pretty sure I'm to blame. Maybe more accurately, my insecurities are to blame. I was thinking so hard as I walked that I didn't even notice that I had made it to the cafeteria. I scanned the room for Jesse while I stood in line waiting for my free lunch. I didn't see him but I did see Izzy. She was talking with a group of girls I didn't really know. Good, hopefully that means I can catch him without her. I thought to myself, my pulse beginning to speed up. Trying to ignore my hammering heart, I filled my tray with food and started outside to look for him. It didn't take long. He was sitting (alone!) at one of the picnic tables scattered between the school building and the football field.
"Jesse!" I yelled, giving him a quick wave before walking toward him. He smiled at me while brushing crumbs off of his olive skin.

"Hey Alicia," he greeted me as I took a seat next to him. "Whats up?" His light brown eyes actually looked the question at me as well.

"Nothing," I lied. As I realized what I was about to do, my pulse sped up even more. So much that I wouldn't be surprised if my heart jumped right out of my chest.

"Whoa Alicia, whats up really? Are you OK?"

"Yes," I said, after taking a deep breath. "Well, no, or... Oh I don't know! Jesse, I need your help. See I think I might be... I was wondering how did you know you were... Is it weird that I-" Just then I heard Izzy shout.

"Hey, Jesse, Alicia!" Damn. So much for that idea, I thought to myself as I watched her approaching us.

"Uh, Jesse?" I asked while turning to face him. "Would you mind not mentioning this to Izzy?"

"Sure Alicia, whatever. I'm not sure what I would tell her any way." He smiled at me then and I'm pretty sure he did know what not to tell her. Just then Izzy sat down across from us.

"Hey," she said to me, "You joining us for lunch today?"

"Uh... no. Actually I just had to talk to Jesse. See you after school?"

"Yeah," she said, smiling. I found myself looking at her smile just a bit too long. Then, fumbling, I stood to leave.

"Bye guys." And I was off heaving a sigh as I made my escape.

I'm not sure how I made it through the rest of the day. I kept looking at the clock, both anticipating and dreading what was coming. When fifth period came around I was kinda relived that I had a free period. I was only kind of relived cause that meant that I had fifty minuets to think. Like I needed to do any more of that. I decided to go outside for a while and write. I made my way out to the tables, picked one, sat down and pulled out my notebook and a pen.

So Alicia, you are excited to hang out with a new friend. So what right? She is a new friend and you are happy to have one. Right? Maybe, no that's probably not it. I don't usually get fixated on friends smiles. Plus for the past few weeks I've been noticing that whenever I'm around her I feel better. Happier. Also in the past week I have found myself wanting to-

Suddenly I was aware of someone standing in front of me, across the table. I looked up and saw Mary. Oh yeah, there is still one person I need to cut out of my life.

"Hey Alicia, where have you been all day? I heard about Blake, are you OK?"

I looked at her chin length blond hair and blue eyes and wondered why I ever hung out with her. It was weird, when I looked at her I no longer saw the girl I have known ever sense kindergarten. I felt like I never knew her at all. The person I thought I knew would never have done what she did to me.

"I've been avoiding you and I'm fine," I said before redirecting my attention to my writing.

"What? Why? Why would you be avoiding me?"

"Because you were sleeping with my boyfriend behind my back." I said without looking up, "Last I checked that's not something that best friends do." I continued writing, she continued standing there. Still not looking up I said, "why are you still here?"

"I...I...," she stammered. I could tell by her voice that she was crying. I continued to stare at my notebook even though I wasn't writing any more. I wasn't sure that I could stand by my decision if I saw her crying. After what felt like hours but was probably only seconds, she left. I let my self cry just a little bit before returning to my thoughts. I decided not to write anymore and to just think. After some serious digging I decided this: If I do LIKE a girl then that doesn't mean that I'm gay. Also if I am then its not like its the end of the world. I'm tough, I figure if I can withstand people looking down on or making fun of me because I'm a poor Mexican girl with a drunk mom then I'm sure I'll get through this. Then just like that I realized that I'm pretty sure that I am gay. Well at least a little.

To Be Continued.....

Skin Deep

FYI: this is the beginning of a short story. I will add to it periodically.


I awoke to the familiar sounds of my mom and her drunk ass boyfriend fighting. I tried to shut them out, my pillow over my head, but that just didn't work. I rolled over to look at the clock to see I had a whole twenty minuets left to sleep. I heaved a sigh, turned off my alarm, then went about getting ready for school. I was so not looking forward to today. I felt like the fighting was a sign of things to come. See, I had decided to break up with my boyfriend today and I'm pretty sure he's not going to go easily. You may be wondering why I'm breaking up with him. Truth is, I have many reasons. I decided to evaluate my life and he doesn't fit into it anymore. His name is Blake Mendez and he is the resident bad boy of Smithston High. Gorgeous dark hair and skin from his Mexican father and bright green eyes, those he got from his white (more specifically Irish) mother. It was his devilish smirk that he passes off as a smile that reeled me in. I'll admit at first I liked being bad with him. I got a thrill from shoplifting and pushing people around, it felt powerful. I felt powerful. Then once the honeymoon was over I realized that I didn't much like who I was with or who I was becoming. I saw too much of my mom and her drunk asshole boyfriends in us. I don't want to end up like her. I love her of course but I don't want to put my hypothetical kids through what I've gone through with her. So that and I don't want to end up in jail. I started feeling bad for the people I've been pushing around. Just cause I have a crappy life doesn't really give me the right to make others lives miserable. Plus I just found out that he has been probably cheating on me with my "best" friend. So yeah I'm breaking up with Blake and I guess in a way Mary. That is if I don't chicken out.

Feeling kinda bummed and freaked out I threw on a black tank top, a pair of black skinny jeans and my boots, I ran a comb through my dark hair and pulled it into a ponytail. I stopped to check myself out in the full length mirror that Blake gave me. I kinda scared myself, my light caramel colored face looked pale, making the stud in my right nostril stand out. My dark brown eyes had a look of shock in them and I couldn't seem to get my full mouth to relax. Oh well, I thought as I grabbed my backpack and turned to leave. I left via the fire escape outside my window to avoid any collisions with my mom or her boyfriend. When I got to the bottom there he was, waiting for me in his car. "Hey," I said, a sense of foreboding grabbing me.

"Hey gorgeous," he said as he leaned over to open the passenger side door. I slid in the car and returned his kiss without feeling. I was silent the whole way to school, which was easy cause it was only a ten minuet ride and he talks a lot. As he pulled into a spot I noticed that his right hand had made its way to my thigh. Damn I thought to myself, then while taking a deep breath I picked his hand up and turned to face him.

"Blake, we need to break up." There I said it. He just sat there so I started to open the door. Then he grabbed my wrist.

"Wait Lici (Leesee) you don't mean that, lets talk."

"Blake, there's nothing for us to talk about. My life is changing, I'm changing and those changes don't include you." He tried to talk, but I put up a hand and kept talking. "I'm freaking vice president of the school now and I actually care about my grades now. I don't want to be on food stamps forever. I wanna make something of myself. Oh, and don't call me that, you've lost that privilege"

"What makes you think you will be able to A-li-ci-a?" He said, emphasizing each syllable of my name, his anger starting to show.

"See, that's what I mean, you hold me back. You want me to stay at your level, that's not what I want. I don't want to end up like my mom and Shawn." He laughed, a burst of anger and I think a tiny bit of guilt.

"My level?" He laughed, then heaved a big breath before continuing. "Anyways Eva and Shawn are great together and I don't hold you back."

"Yes your level," I said, my voice rising. Now I was getting mad. "Yeah they're great if you think that being drunk all the time and him beating the crap out of her is great. And dammit, you do hold me back." At that I shoved open the door and stormed off. Unfortunately he caught up with me rather quickly. He grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. That was it. "Don't touch me!" I yelled, "you've lost that privilege too."

"Oh come on Li- Alicia. Can't we talk about this?" In my anger I looked away from him and saw that a crowd was gathering. Great.

"Oh come on Blake," I said, making fun of him. A bit childish I know but it felt good. "What is there to talk about? I think I've been pretty clear. But if that's not enough for you then hows this, tell me about Mary." I crossed my arms and gave him the iciest stare I could muster. At first he said nothing, just staring at me stupidly. Then he had the nerve to act like he was innocent.

"Mary? Your best friend Mary? What do you want to know? She's your best friend, wouldn't you know more than me?"

"Oh come on I'm sure you could think of something I don't know, like what kind of kisser she is. Or whether she spits or swallows." OK I know that was probably too much but I was pissed. He just stood there red faced and sputtering. "Your silence is so reassuring," I said, laying the sarcasm on thick. "Now Blake listen good, we. Are. Over," I said lacing each word with venom. I turned to leave and heard him call out to me.

"Lici..."

"Don't call me that," I said without turning. Then I walked away without looking back. As I walked people actually started to clap. I couldn't help but smile even though I felt horrible.
I dashed straight to my first class, geometry and sat down. It was strange, I was the only person there. I checked the clock an saw that I was early. I pulled out a notebook and a pen and started to write.

So I did it, I broke up with Blake. Strange thing is, I don't feel how I thought I would. Its not that I regret it, I don't. I just expected to feel different. I mean I feel kinda relived, but I also feel really confused. I know I left him with good reason, I guess now that its done I have to face the other possible reason I have for doing what I did...

Just then I felt a tap on my shoulder. Damn, doesn't he get it? I whipped my head up to see, not Blake, but Izzy a kinda new friend of mine. Her blue/gray eyes looked startled and brighter than usual against her pale freckled skin. As she looked at me she started pulling on her lip ring.

"Hey," she said giving a little wave with her unoccupied hand. Then, keeping her hand up she said, "don't hit me."

"Hey," I said, a smile spreading across my face. "Why would I hit you?"

"Well you looked up with a look on your face like you were gonna hit someone and I'm on the other end of that look." As she spoke she lowered one hand and moved the other to push her blond and berry red streaked hair behind her ear.

"Sorry, I thought you were Blake."

"Nope, just me. Speaking of Blake though, good job. If he doesn't get it that you two are over, then he's dumber than I thought." She smiled and I laughed. It felt good to laugh.

"You saw that huh? Well thanks, but, uh, did you come in here just to congratulate me?"

"No, actually I came to apologize and thank you. I took your advice you know, about moving back in with my mom."

Izzy and I had just started hanging out not long after I lost the school election for President and was chosen by the winner, Jesse, as vice president. Jesse and her are best friends so we have been hanging recently. She had left home months ago cause her mom was a drunk and she (Izzy) had started cutting cause of all the stress at home. She stopped cutting and her mom stopped drinking but she was still afraid to go home. I convinced her that she should even if it was hard. At least her mom is trying.

"Cool." I said not knowing really what to say. "Well your welcome then, I kinda thought maybe I was to hard on you" I said while looking at down at my desk.

"No I needed it." She said while smiling again. Looking back on it later I realized that maybe that's what made me say what I did next.

"Hey you wanna hang after school?"

"Sure, meet me out front after the last bell." she said while looking at her watch, "Gotta get to class, see ya then!" She said as she ran out into the hall.

I just sat there for a second thinking, then was brought back to reality by the bell. Somehow the room had filled up around me without my noticing. I put my notebook away and got out my geometry book. I noticed that I was holding my breath and let it out. What was going on with me?
To Be Continued....